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Dear Dategirl, My girlfriend refuses to have sex with me when she's on her period. I'm not so horny that I need it every day (though I wouldn't say no), but I don't understand what the big deal is. It's just a little blood! The first thing we did when we decided to move in together was go for STD testing. We're both disease-free and have been barebacking (with birth control) since we got the all-clears, so it's not the threat of HIV that's scaring her off. She just thinks it's disgusting. Truthfully, I find it kind of hot. I got my "red wings" when I was still in high school, and have been a fan ever since. I don't know if it's the extra lubrication or the blood that turns me on, but her refusal is bumming me out. This isn't breakup material, but I feel like our sex life would be a lot more fun if she'd loosen up. —Man Who Loves Menstruation I'm with you, MWLM—I love on-the-rag sex. And, like you, I'm partnered to a squeamish type who finds it utterly repulsive. Admittedly, I've kind of given up on the idea. There are enough other days in the month. That doesn't mean you should give up, though. The most effective thing you can do is try to make her more comfortable with her body in general. If you haven't been doling them out, make with the compliments. Don't just tell her that she's beautiful; tell her she tastes delicious, smells great, and feels amazing. Please note: If you're a reticent type and a sudden outpouring of emotion will raise red flags of insincerity, start slowly. This isn't about manipulation; this is about voicing what you already feel. For whatever reason, some ladies are squeamish about their eau de puss even when they're not hosting their Auntie Flo. So make sure you devote proper attention to its care even when it's not leaking crimson. Did we talk about how many orgasms she should be having? Regardless of how she gets off, a person rendered dumb by coming is going to be a lot more agreeable to pretty much anything you suggest. Perhaps you'd like to print out a few articles about how orgasms during her flow can turn her curse into a blessing. Short of the painkillers I got for melanoma, nothing relieves cramps like a howling orgasm. Not only that, but the contractions caused by her climax can actually end her period sooner than if she'd let it go unrewarded. (This is because the contractions sometimes push the blood out quicker, but you don't need to share that.) If it's the mess she's concerned about, suggest a bathtub bang. An unloved towel on the bed can also absorb a bit of the gore. Unless she has a serious problem, she's only losing a few tablespoons of blood anyway. It's just not that much, no matter how never-ending it might seem when you're curled up in the fetal position. Speaking of which, if she's a serious cramper, there might be no changing her mind—in which case you need to back off and appreciate her the other 25 days of the month. One last tactic you might try: The next time you dine downtown, slip your tongue into the pooper region. It might make her jump, but once she sees you've happily stumbled over to browntown, she will know without a shadow of a doubt that you are a super trooper firstname.lastname@example.org