She's Hot. Her Style Is Not.

Dear Dategirl:I met a woman online. Our first date lasted all day and most of the night. We sealed the deal on our second date and it was insanely great. Fucking amazing fucking.So, I like her; I find her sexy, smart, funny, all that. The chemistry is through the roof. But I hate the way she dresses. On our first outing, she wore leggings and a tiny T-shirt. But these weren't sexy leggings with the wide waistband that folds down to reveal a color and really hugs the ass just right, but whatever. On our next date, she wore a frumpy top and ill-fitting capris. I hate capris, and can't imagine that any man likes them. Also, her shoes were atrocious. Not only was her outfit not flattering to her body—which is NOT a thin, model-y body but more a full-figured-but-tiny-waisted Christina Hendricks–type body—but it wasn't hip or sexy. (Off-topic, I should mention that I prefer extremely thin women to Playboy bunny types.)So what do I do? I can't afford to buy her a new wardrobe, nor do I want to insult her in any way. I simply can't be with a frumpy dresser. That may seem really superficial, but honestly, is it any more superficial than any of the other reasons someone might reject someone?—Jim Gunn

I had no idea capri pants were so widely loathed until an informal poll of male acquaintances revealed that unless worn in a retro Laura Petrie fashion, most men don't likey. But really, who cares? To dump someone over a pair of pants? I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one.If some dude seriously announced he was dumping me because I wore cropped pants and was built too much like Joan Fucking Holloway (I wish!), I'm pretty sure I would collapse in hysterics. Eventually I would pick myself up, dust myself off, and change into a new pair of capris—because I would've pissed that pair laughing. I would not sob or go on a diet or buy a pair of spendy jeans; I'd consider myself lucky not to have wasted more time with someone who valued the right trousers over a righteous babe with a knockout bod.Not to mention that Joan Holloway is one of the main reasons to watch Mad Men. I believe that they haven't teamed her with Don Draper solely because they know these newfangled flat-screen TVs can't handle that much scorching hotness.But hey, to each his own—you prefer bony ribcages to giant silky pillows you could spend hours exploring with your tongue; I prefer a big schnozz to a ski jump.I would suggest that despite your affection for her, you throw this one back. Believe me, there are plenty of guys (and girls) who'd love a curvy ass and a knockout set of knockers no matter what they were wrapped in. Hanging around and offering wardrobe critiques isn't doing her any favors, and will only make you look like more of a jerk.So yes, put yourself back on the market and keep searching for your brilliant, gorgeous, exquisitely dressed woman, who's pin-thin and smart as a whip yet willing to laugh at your jokes and fuck all night. Just be warned that she might be holding out for an athletic young stud with movie-star looks, a nine-inch cock, and a six-figure income.That won't be a problem, will it?dategirl@seattleweekly.com

 
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