Google Strikes Back?

As in Europe, corporate logos are increasingly common on the jerseys of our pro athletes. Xbox360 Live has been slapped on the chests of Sounders FC, and now our WNBA franchise is joining the Microsoft family. The Seattle Storm announced this week "a multiyear marquee partnership with Bing, the decision engine from Microsoft."

Jeremy Eaton

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• Women's National Basketball Association
• WNBA Western Conference
• Seattle Storm
• Women's Professional Basketball
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Take that, Google! Microsoft has totally pwned you when it comes to WNBA synergy. Storm players will wear their new Bing jerseys in the Sunday, May 2, preseason opener against the Phoenix Mercury (see the Weekly Wire). The deal will certainly allow Microsoft to reach a female demographic ("Mothers comprise nearly 20 percent of Bing users," the company says). And the branding campaign is surely better than MSFT's perplexing "New Busy" (as noted in last week's issue). But it could also prompt a strong countermove from Google.

How might the Silicon Valley search giant retaliate? Here are some of the possibilities we've heard:

• KeyArena will be immediately erased from Google Street View.

• All Google searches for the Seattle Storm will be rickrolled.

• Google will offer $1 million to any Seahawk player willing to tattoo its logo on his face.

• Google will encircle Seattle Center with a giant server farm, making it impossible for WNBA fans to enter.

• Sue Bird, Swin Cash, and Lauren Jackson will be lured away with generous stock options to play in the weekly TGIF volleyball tournament at the Googleplex.

• Free tickets will be offered to the new Google-sponsored Women's Professional Lingerie Basketball League.

• Google will purchase the NBA's Thunder, rename them the SuperSonics, then leave the team in Oklahoma City, just because it hurts.