Dear Dategirl,
I’m in my mid-30s, and have been dating a guy a lot younger than me—like more than 10 years younger. It’s smoking hot between us, and we actually do have a lot in common. However, our sex life has gotten a bit weird lately. I am a total bottom; I like being one and it feels better for me. (Not to say we only do one position, but that is my preferred spot). Anyway, he recently told me because I am older, he thinks I should be the top—the more assertive one. WTF!!!! I didn’t feel like a fucking granny until he made me feel like a freak for not wanting to dominate his young ass.
—Mrs. Robinson
Maybe it’s a sign of my own advanced age, but I so appreciate you referencing The Graduate instead of that feline predator so often bandied about when discussing older woman/younger man pairings. Anne Bancroft is a much foxier role model than a four-legged beast.
There are so many perks to dating a much younger man. The youngsters have more stamina than the geezers. They think you’re sophisticated because you don’t need a fake ID to buy beer! And we haven’t even discussed the Boner Factor—youngsters can get a stiffy at the drop of a panty.
In addition, most younger men don’t have the baggage compartment their older brethren lug around. They rarely have ex-wives or child-support payments, and if you’re lucky, they can carry you across the room and fuck you at the same time. (Yes, Simon from Quebec, I’m thinking of you!)
However, there are some downsides. For one, they’ve never known MTV to show actual music videos—to them it’s just that station that airs The Real World. Their friends are almost always irritating, and it’s inevitable that one of them will earnestly remark (fueled by Jäger shots) how awesome you look “for your age.” They may ask you what the ’80s were like, or if you knew Kurt Cobain. If you want to go anywhere nice to eat, you’ll probably have to foot the bill and possibly purchase him a tie. I cooked a nice dinner for one much younger man I dated, and instead of a bottle of wine, he showed up with a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice. Sigh.
Such are the trade-offs we make for a rock-hard ass and an unstoppable libido. Just remember that since you’ve already got the “older” part down, you should work the “wiser” angle as well. So if you want to be a filthy little bottom, say it loud and say it proud. At his age, whether by a teacher or his mom, Junior Mint is probably used to being bossed by mouthy dames, so he should fall into line pretty quickly.
I get that being on top can be great, but it can also be a little intimidating when you’re dealing with a decade-sized age difference. Can we be sure he’s ever seen boobs with a little droop? And what of the occasional stretch mark?
Is this why you’re so hell-bent on being on the bottom? Because he’s not gonna care if you’ve got a little jiggle in your wiggle. Or are you just tired from all those years of screwing dudes your own age? I hope it’s the latter and you’re not worried about keeping up appearances. I mean, he’s already seen you naked. He knows what he’s getting and seems pretty happy with it.
I’d say as long as you’re willing to switch things up, try different positions, and suck that boy’s dick like a Dyson, he’s got nothing to complain about.
