This Week's Horoscopes

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)I dreamt I was seated next to President Obama at a show. Instead of taking the opportunity to ask him about health-care reform or gays in the military, I said, "Hey, are you having any fun? In 10 years' time, will you and your wife be able to look back on this time and say, 'Wow, what a blast!'?" For his sake, I hope so, and for your sake, too; if you can't find a way to enjoy what you're up to—even if it is deadly serious—there's almost no point in doing it, is there?Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)You pride yourself on being open-minded, but sometimes you're as narrow in your thinking as it's possible to be—only you'd never notice it until someone pointed it out to you. For example, if a friend of yours came to you telling you they'd found the secret of the universe in Scientology, you'd instantly blow them off (as you should; Scientology is evil). However, not all such similar situations should be so swiftly dismissed. Are you truly being open-minded, or have you already decided what's what, once and for all? If that's the case, this week you're liable to miss out on something kind of great.Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)Your ideal relationship probably has all of these: sexual and emotional compatibility, humor, and financial stability. What if you had to give up one of them in order to have the relationship at all? Which would it be? Three out of four ain't bad, and prioritizing which of the four you could most easily do without may inform your next few choices. I'm sure two are no-brainers; deciding between the other two will have you hung up for days. Holding out for all four will probably leave you lonely, though, so if I were you, I'd decide sooner rather than later.Aries (March 21–April 19)Sometimes things just aren't about who wins or loses; they're about getting shit done, or finding a decent compromise, or simply figuring out a way to move forward. As long as you're primarily focused on coming out ahead or proving just how valuable you are, none of those things can really happen. The name of the game this week is cooperation, even if that makes you feel like just a cog in the machine instead of the star player. After all, isn't it better to win the game overall than to be the most-valued player on a losing team?Taurus (April 20–May 20)Ask questions. We all know you're the most interesting person in the world, when you choose to be, but even those who worship you get bored with you touting your own virtues. Especially if you're trying to get someone new to take an interest in you, don't bother talking about yourself. Even though it may feel like you're a mystery, people either will find out about you soon enough on their own, or they already know all they need to know. You, however, don't. Turn up the volume on your curiosity. The more you can demonstrate that someone interests you a lot more than you interest yourself, the better off you'll be.Gemini (May 21–June 20)What's your favorite color? What was your favorite color this time last year? Odds are it's changed. That's OK. There's nothing wrong with having dynamic, evolving preferences that reflect where you are in your life. What's important is that you're aware of that, especially when expressing those preferences regarding people. Be aware that two years down the line you might not like such-and-such qualities as much as you do right now. Your best bet is to hook up with someone who is also always changing, or to let someone know that you, at least, are—and they'd better keep up or risk being left behind.Cancer (June 21–July 22)Don't be stingy with your love. Sharing your affection with only one or a few people doesn't make it more concentrated or valuable. In fact, love has a way of growing the more you exercise it. The more you practice being affectionate and caring, the better you'll get. So stop being so parsimonious. You've heard the expression "You've got to spend money to make money." Well, the more love you share, the more you'll have. And as with money, there's really no such thing as having too much. Also like money, the more you have, the more people will be drawn to you—and your opportunities to share even more love will grow exponentially, too. There's really no limit to how "rich" you can get.Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)Red Light, Green Light is a fun game when you're a kid, but it loses some of its appeal in adulthood. What was a mildly fun aspect of the game becomes incredibly frustrating as an adult. This is not something you'll be happy participating in for long, so it's best to end it as soon as possible. If someone is playing a stop-and-go game with your emotions, you need to make a big move: Either catch them on the next "Go" round, or walk away until a green light is the only signal you get (or the occasional yellow).Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)You're not known as masters of endurance, but if there were a contest to see how long you could go without something, you'd have a very good chance of winning. Self-deprivation—especially of things you perceive as bad or unattainable for you—is one of your strengths. However, sometimes you deny yourself things unnecessarily, or for too long. Is this one of those times? This week, consider letting yourself try to be open to things that you normally don't allow into your life. You may find they're more available, enjoyable, interesting, or enriching than you remember.Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)If you want to pick a fight with someone, don't be passive-aggressive about it. I can understand the need to vent aggression, but be up front about it instead of toying with someone's emotions just because you're in a bitchy mood. This could become a fun kind of game, if you let it. Being in a foul or aggressive frame of mind doesn't mean you have to take it out on the people around you. Be less subtle. Put on some boxing gloves and say, "OK, who wants to fight?" Chances are, someone will happily step up.Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)Of course everyone rationally knows that keeping a cool head in a crisis will increase your chances of emerging from it unscathed. However, that's frequently easier said than done. Amid chaos, your emotions can very easily get the best of you. Panic is a natural reaction when the house is on fire. Even though this house is more metaphorical or emotional than brick and mortar, it is nevertheless burning—and keeping cool in spite of that is this week's challenge. Stay calm and think clearly, and you could still come out of this mostly unscathed. Freak out and you could lose nearly everything.Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)So you've already broken your New Year's resolution. So what? Don't give up so quickly or easily. You made that resolution for a reason; probably because it's what you ultimately need to do, for your own good. Giving up on it just because of a slip-up or setback is disappointing. Don't do it. This is one of those promises to yourself that you should try to keep. To that end, you must make and re-make it every time it gets broken, for as long or as often as it takes to finally stick. Eventually, it will.

 
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