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The Bartender Knows All: Sex, Tips, and Mixes

You’ve asked and she’s answered, martini in hand.

At home, I use Spieglau pinot noir glasses for everything ($8 each on sale). Although if I break a few more, I'm going to downshift back to snifters from Goodwill. It's not the kind of glass that matters, just the size and shape. Glassware companies push all manner of shapes for every grape and wine imaginable, but it really just comes down to one shape for most wines.

The pinot noir glass (like a brandy snifter on stilts) makes every wine taste better—or, more accurately, brings out the flavors of every wine—because the shape of the glass collects the wine's aromas. For some cheap wines, this isn't an issue. Think about it: Fine cognac goes into a snifter, Old Crow a shot glass. All you need is a glass big enough and cupped enough to collect those aromas, period. Sommeliers will spin all sorts of b.s. to the contrary, but their job is to sell you stuff, including "the experience" of paying 400% more for a bottle of wine in a restaurant.

Zela Lobb
Zela Lobb

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Maggie Savarino's "Ask the Bartender" column runs every Tuesday on Voracious, our food blog.

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I say if you can't afford a nice glass for everyone, than tough shit. And really, in these trying times, that restaurant should be lucky to have you as a customer. Don't you ever, ever let anyone make you feel bad about spending your hard-earned money. Ever.

Next time, Stan, do what I do: Put on your best innocent eyes and ask the manager why you didn't get those big glasses with your wine. Because it's fun to watch people squirm.

Can Tap Beer Make You Sick?

Duke is curious:

The last few times I've had tap beer, I got sick. Someone told me it's the lines leading from the keg—some bars don't change them.

This is a tricky topic, just as if someone gets sick after eating out, they always blame the mussels. I know many people who won't drink tap beer, and unfortunately there's a certain logic to that some of the time. The problem is, the only way to know how often a bar changes their lines is to ask. So that tags you as a real winner right there. In any restaurant or bar, you can't judge the keg system's cleanliness by the prices on the menu. You also can't judge it by the beer selection.

How does tap beer make you sick? Kegs are usually stored in a keg fridge, either under the counter or in the establishment's walk-in. So sometimes when a bartender pulls a tap, the beer can be as much as 50 feet away. That's 50 feet of tubing that needs changing on a regular basis, because tiny flotsam and jetsam can build up in the line and grow.

More than just making you sick, unclean lines affect a beer's taste. That's why brewpubs in our city are great about changing their lines—they want to show their product in the best light. Some restaurants, however, treat these conduits like plumbing, only paying attention to the lines when something is not right (usually a bacteria-laden clog).

My rule: If I feel a place doesn't care about their beer or go through it very fast, I don't drink from the tap. Regardless of a place's image. When in doubt, I ask. And I am very wary if the bartender or manager can't give me an immediate answer.

My wish: Beer distributors should care about their products enough to monitor and spot-check bars that carry their kegs, and I think tap lines should be part of any health inspection.

msavarino@seattleweekly.com

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