REVERB: The Only Mayoral Debate You Need to See

The following are the sort of questions that normally get asked at mayoral debates involving Average Joe Mallahan and Mike "The Bike" McGinn: How do you intend to stop the state from going ahead with its plans to replace the Alaskan Way Viaduct with a tunnel? You have no experience in public office, so tell us how your career as a cellular communications executive has prepared you to be mayor of a major American city? What is your plan for dealing with violent crime in the city? What sort of cost-cutting measures do you plan to implement as a means to combat municipal budget woes? Do you plan to put monetary muscle behind the current mayor's "City of Music" initiative? How will your administration better contend with weather similar to what the city experienced during last December's Snowpocalypse?

Next are questions that these two electoral neophytes, vying to replace political lifer Greg Nickels, have definitely never been asked at a public forum: What's the first image that pops into your head when you hear the word "haberdashery?" If you were a Golden Girl, which Golden Girl would you be, and why? What's your favorite Whitney Houston song? OK, now that we know "How Will I Know?" is your favorite Whitney Houston song, would you please approach the microphone and sing the first verse, in the key of A? If you could spend one night, clothed or naked, with any one U.S. President from the 19th century, who would that President be? On the sitcom The Facts of Life, whom would you be likeliest to find at the Wild Rose, Jo or Mrs. Garrett? Did you feel that when Cloris Leachman replaced Charlotte Rae in the cast that the show lost its mojo, or do you place its cancellation squarely on the very broad shoulders of Mindy Cohn? Hall or Oates—and if it's Oates, then Oates with or without the mustache?

There are problems with both sets of questions. The former line of interrogation can lead to well-rehearsed, poll-tested answers, while the latter have very little to do with actual governing. But mash them together, and we might we actually get to know our next mayor.

Thankfully, the man to coax the would-be mayors out of their cocoons is the Long Winters' whip-smart frontman, John Roderick, who will join yours truly as co-moderator for what we hope will be an informative, hilarious, and mercifully brief (so you can get back to the music!) debate in a setting—a pub—where politicians of yore felt most at home. And while the candidates will not be required to imbibe during the proceedings, if they want the votes of REVERB faithful, we think they'll know what to do.

mseely@seattleweekly.com