This Week's Horoscopes

Gemini (May 21–June 20)Self-imposed limits or restrictions are rarely as strict or immutable as people publicly pretend. Given the opportunity to try something they've been curious about, with no consequences, assured that no one would ever know...well, most people would give it a go. Moral, ethical, and practical considerations don't really weigh into situations like that, as much as people tell themselves otherwise. We seem mostly to need the accountability of other people to stick to principles we claim to hold at heart. I don't know; having new experiences is rarely, if ever, bad. If fear of what other people would think is holding you back from trying something you've been curious about, I bet you could find a way to give it a try without anyone ever finding out. This week is better for that kind of thing than most.Cancer (June 21–July 22)Realism and hope aren't necessarily happy bedfellows. In some people's lives, they never even cross paths. Yet I contend that if you can sit the two perspectives down together in a room long enough for them to find some common ground (in many cases this might be quite a long time indeed), they eventually could form the most rock-solid, unshakeable, and productive marriage imaginable. It's a matter of letting the two ideas hash it out and work out their differences once and for all; once they do, they'll be able to live pretty much happily every after. Give them that chance. Once they're working together inside your head, you'll be virtually unstoppable.Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)One isn't the loneliest number, not by a country mile. For some people the loneliest number is three, or 12, or 50. It's far worse to feel isolated or left out when you're surrounded by people than it is when you're actually alone. That kind of loneliness has a much greater weight and impact than the deserted-island kind. Stranded on a beach by yourself, you can make friends with a coconut head or a hermit crab. But stranded at a party, things are not so simple. You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you? That's why if you're given the chance to keep someone else from feeling that way this week, I know you'll go out on a limb and take it.Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)Many parents feel a measure of guilt for the ways they guess they might have let their children down, but nine times out of 10 they're wrong. First of all, most of that guilt is about shit they could do little or nothing about (being poor, perhaps). Secondly, they're mostly feeling bad about some idea they had about parenting, not something their kids were actually missing. That's not to say they have nothing they ought to regret—just that perhaps they're focusing on the wrong things. You are, too. What's more, if you figure out what you actually ought to feel bad about, you'll be able to get over it once and for all, and stop feeling bad altogether.Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)Upon seeing someone in distress, some people's first inclination is to have a good hearty laugh at their expense; others' initial impulse is to rush to their aid. Of course we've all had our meaner moments. I just hope you're not having one of them this week. If you see someone who needs help, please lend them a hand without hesitation. If you want to have a quiet chuckle about the potential comedy of their tenuous situation, feel free to do it later after you've helped them, with a clear conscience.Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)This relationship is like an ancient building so covered in ivy for so long that at this point those vines are all that's holding it up. Strip all that greenery away and the whole thing would crumble to the ground. Therefore I'd hesitate before applying the herbicide and killing that ivy once and for all. It might feel like the one thing between you and the real building, which you want to see more clearly and know everything about, but since without it there'd be no building at all (only ruins), this is probably as close as you'll ever get. Try to enjoy it the way it is.Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)How many dead ends will you have to hit before you realize that this whole part of town is nothing but one-way streets and no-outlet alleyways? If you think back, you probably took a wrong turn all the way back in Albuquerque. As galling as it is to have to retrace your steps so far, it's better than racking up the miles going nowhere in a neighborhood you never really intended to visit. Time to refill the gas tank and make a U-turn. Don't beat yourself up about the time you've wasted. Think better late than never—or better yet, consider this the real start of your journey.Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)Have you ever revisited a beloved childhood movie or TV show, only to realize what a pile of shit it is? Becoming more discerning can teach you to appreciate the finer things in life, but it also usually allows you to enjoy the cheap crap much, much less. Life would certainly be simpler if you were the kind of person whose most sophisticated tastes ran along the lines of professional wrestling and monster trucks. While I would hate for you to transform yourself into someone so crass, this week you might have occasion to wear that costume—and like it!Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)Slash-and-burn isn't the answer. Although you might be tempted just to raze this thing and start over from scratch (and it may yet come to that), there's a strong possibility that you can happily avoid such drastic measures. There's much you can salvage here; all that's required is a discerning eye and a little patience. Take your time, and be resourceful and flexible. Save what you can, ditch the rest, and build things up from there. You'll end up with something more unique and ultimately much better, in half the time it would have taken to start from zero.Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)Sometimes the team you're rooting for just wins, and everything plays out exactly as you hoped. You'd be a fool to think you were the magic ingredient that made it all possible, though, just as it would be tragically delusional to think you were completely at fault when things didn't go so well. However, while taking full credit or blame would be dumb, you shouldn't feel as though you have no influence over the situation. You have less power than you imagine in your wildest fantasies and most terrifying paranoid moments, but a whole lot more than cold logic would dictate.Aries (March 21–April 19)Once you gain the ability to climb any mountain or leap any wall, no matter how high, it becomes a matter of choice whether or not you do. What you may be surprised to learn is that some boundaries are better left inviolate; you might not like what you find on the other side. You used to think every barrier was worth conquering just because it was there. It may be time to revise that strategy. This week, instead of constantly expanding your territory in every direction, consider leaving some stones unturned and some places unexplored, simply because—weirdly enough—you'll be happier that way.Taurus (April 20–May 20)While you never forget how to ride a bike, you sometimes can forget just how much fun it can be. It takes actually getting up on that bicycle and taking it for a spin before all those delicious memories come flooding back. You may not remember how much of a thrill loads of the stuff you used to do was. This is a good week to dredge up some of those rusty old recollections. If you can't remember why you did something, you may need to give it another go, just to figure it out. Some of it might turn out to be even more fun now than it was back then. You'll never know, though, unless you try.

 
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