I Don't Want to Fall In Love

Dear Dategirl,For the past two years, I've been trying to find a way to explain my decision to retire from dating. I quit cold-turkey because I don't have enough sense to fall for women who are good for me. I've read some of your articles, and while the content wasn't what I was looking for, it was an interesting glimpse into the female perspective.Now that I've stopped looking for love, I have finally gotten around to my "get around to" list. To keep things uncomplicated, I stick to activities that don't involve me being alone with a woman. However, I've read your advice that people should still keep dating even if they're uninterested in a serious relationship. There is no chance of my intentions being misinterpreted when I work out at home and go running with my dog. There always seem to be expectations that lead to disappointment if I invite a woman to accompany me, though.It seems that there is no correlation between what women want to want and what they actually want. All my life I've heard women claim that they're looking for nice guys with a sense of humor and a big heart, while in reality they fixate on the self-absorbed jerk who considers them disposable. What I really want to know boils down to this: Is not wanting to fall in love only a temporary state for women? Because the events that led me to this place have made me committed.—George

While I think it shows great self-awareness to realize you consistently make bad choices, I think this whole withdrawing from sex/romance/etc. is yet another less-than-ideal idea. Wouldn't the better option be to forget the life of celibacy and simply work a little harder at not falling for nitwits?You complain about women who whine about wanting nice guys but who constantly chase jerks because, I'm guessing, this is the type of girl you fall for. Normal women actually do want nice guys. The type you're talking about eats men like you for breakfast and then sticks you with the tab. Sadly for you, this type also tends to share certain very appealing characteristics:• Youth. Young, inexperienced girls fall for brooding, mysterious jackasses. Youth isn't always chronological, either: Emotionally immature women can be in their 50s and still dumb as a box of hair when it comes to picking a suitable date. But then, who wouldn't want someone young, even if only at heart?• A flair for the dramatic. These ladies live like life is a stage. There are no shades of gray—only black, white, and crimson (generally smeared across their lips). They laugh louder, cry harder, and always make a scene. They wouldn't be interested in a nice guy because to them nice spells dull. Unfortunately, these women are also very compelling; there's very rarely a dull moment.• Unstable. Prior to her canonization, Angelina Jolie was the poster girl for nutso dames. She wore blood drawn from the guy she fucked in the back of a limo. She made out with her brother at the Oscars. If she hadn't been born preternaturally hot, Angelina would be collecting Precious Moments figurines and cats instead of orphans and other people's husbands. Can you imagine Kathy Bates getting away with that kind of nonsense? Probably not. Which brings us to...• Sexy. By no means am I saying that all sexy ladies will break your heart, but in order to be the kind of heartbreaker who causes men to swear off women forever, she's got to be damned boneriffic.But please get back out there. Next time, just choose your women a little more wisely. Put "getting laid" back at the top of your "get around to" list, where it belongs.dategirl@seattleweekly.com

 
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