Bitching About Bitches

Dear Dategirl,I just don't get it: What's with these wuss guys who let their women treat them like bitches? One drama queen I know barely does a thing around the house, even though she's been unemployed now for six months. She acts like the damsel in distress and never does anything herself even though she knows how. She makes her live-in BF of 15 years do it all, despite the fact that he works hard manual labor every day. She must have read Why Men Love Bitches, because it sure seems to be working for her and lots of other women.It just seems like it's the Nazi bitches who rule by intimidation and control whom men respect more than nice girls like me, who were taught self-sufficiency instead of dependency on a pussy-whipped Neanderthal to do everything for her. Having not graduated from the Leona Helmsley School of Bitchery, if that's what it takes to get and keep a man these days, count me the fuck out, unless you can help me understand the advantages of having Conan the Barbarian with zero integrity—and zero balls—as a boyfriend.—Refuse to Be a Bitch

I have to say, for an allegedly "nice" girl, you seem kind of nasty. I mean, "Nazi bitches"? A tad harsh, don't you think?Sure, there are some guys who dig being the white knight and seek out the type of ditz who couldn't fight her way out of a wet paper bag. But there are also dudes who only date blondes, or Asian chicks, or ladies with ginormous boobies. For whatever reason, these types have a type.An old friend of mine has an inexplicable (to me, anyway) yen for super-cruel, crazy women. He's even marrying one! I don't get it, but it seems to make him happy, so who am I to judge? OK, maybe I judged a little when I told him his latest lady was like a cancerous tumor he should have excised, but whatever. Obviously, I think his attraction to this kind of woman is probably a bad idea, but like I said, he seems really happy. However, I don't think his issues are indicative of the male species as a whole.On the flipside, there are women who'll only date rich guys or men taller than them, men they can boss around, or conversely, guys who treat them like shit. Which is not to say I don't share your disdain for the take-care-of-me types, because I do. I'd sooner poke my own eyes out than walk around like a simpering basket case, mewling for some guy to help me tie my shoes. To me, the fact that I'm self-sufficient isn't even something I'm proud of. It's just part of who I am, and I can't imagine living any other way. It sounds like you feel the same way.But you need to quit picking the white knights. It's not like they're the majority— you're just selecting the wrong guys to waste your time on. Most men I know are happy to date women who don't need them to change their diapers. They like ladies who can figure out themselves what to order off the menu and pay for their own dinners. I mean, really, what's not to like?Your letter reminds me of the angry missives I always field from alleged nice guys, furious that they can't find a date in this town. They argue that they'd never cheat on or hit a woman, and are furious that the ladies aren't flocking because of these stellar qualities of theirs. I'm going to tell you what I tell them: Lose the anger. Concentrate on being a happy person who does interesting things with their life. You're far more likely to attract a nice guy if you truly become a nice woman.dategirl@seattleweekly.com

 
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