A Dategirl Success Story

Dear Dategirl,

Seeing the letter I wrote you in print ["Cling Rap," Oct. 15] and your response made me realize how pathetic I must seem. I resolved to take a more easygoing, natural attitude toward dating. I would enjoy my dates, try to be fun, funny, and charming, and let whatever happened happen.

Well, I had a couple of stinker dates, but I didn't take them as personal rejection. Then I met someone absolutely wonderful and we hit it off immediately. We've been going out for a little over a month, and we're just crazy about each other. She appreciates the qualities I value in myself because they're not masked by a thick gravy of neediness. We have fantastic conversations, expand each other's horizons, and just thoroughly enjoy our time together. Hell, we even have mind-blowing sex! In a word, we're in love.

Best of all, it's so easy and natural. I'm having a wonderful time and I'm able to just enjoy the moment and not worry about the future. This, at least partly, is due to your advice. So I wholeheartedly thank you!

As a quick caveat—those female friends I mentioned? They pretty much disappeared overnight once I got a girlfriend. That's the only part of your response I disagreed with, but hey, looks like you were right on that count too!

When better to run a thank-you letter than Thanksgiving week? I rarely get updates from readers, so when I do—and it's actually a success story—it warms the depths of my cold, cold heart.

I know the holiday season can be cruel for single folk. (It's not always a barrel of mistletoe for hooked-up ones either, but at least couples have each other to scream at.) With that in mind, I came up with some tips to make the most wonderful time of the year suck a whole lot less.

• Do not leave your house without a sprig of mistletoe in your purse, murse, or laptop bag. You never know when you'll want to make out with a stranger, and this little plant is the perfect excuse.

• When confronted by a "concerned" friend or relative fretting about your single status, just walk away. That kind of crap deserves no answer. A pal of mine recently confided that a work acquaintance had seen fit to warn her about her "ticking clock." If that happens to you, feel free to punch the offender.

• Say "NO" to the Holiday Non-Breeder Tax. A single friend of mine is the only kid in her family who's chosen not to reproduce. So she's on the hook for approximately 20 gifts and usually ends up with an ill-fitting sweater or a potholder in return. This year I'm trying to convince her to make a charitable donation (in an undisclosed amount she can actually afford) in their name. I suggest you do the same. I recommend DonorsChoose.org, so it goes to kids who actually need things like pencils and schoolbooks.

• While it might suck that you won't have a significant other carefully selecting just the right gift to stuff in your stocking, take heart in the fact that you won't receive a box of floppy discs, like my friend Amber did one year. Or the yeast-breeding polyester pj's that one clueless suitor gifted on me. Or the harmonium my unmusical friend got from her musician boyfriend (how convenient that he wanted the very same thing!). Or the copy of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf that one passive-aggressive lady gave her immediately clued-in BF.

• Go buy yourself something pretty, wrap it up, and put it under the tree/menorah. Yes, that sounds really lame and women's-magazine-y, but so what? At least it'll fit, and it won't be crafted from manmade fibers.

dategirl@seattleweekly.com