This Week's Horoscopes

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)It's not hard to guess which will have more terror, more zombies, and more masks—Halloween or the presidential election. Halloween is traditionally the time to put on a costume that will enable you to tell a deeper truth or express a part of yourself that you don't usually get to express. Same goes for the election, really. This is your time to communicate your perspective, and pull no punches. Do what you have to do to get your point across. When putting together a Halloween costume, you wouldn't waver when considering those extra touches that would make it more likely to thrill, shock, and horrify. Don't fail us here.Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)Do nice people make you suspicious? I don't blame you, after the many terribly disingenuous folks you've encountered. Perhaps I'm as cynical as you are; I also have this feeling that most people pretend to be nicer than they really are. That's why it's refreshing when you meet someone who is very nearly as sweet, generous, and caring as they appear to be. Luckily for you, there are at least a couple such people playing leading roles in your week. Go ahead and be cynical if you wish, but if you let your bitterness keep you from letting these people into your life, you'll really be missing out.Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)Your subtle suggestions have largely gone unnoticed or ignored (it's hard to tell which). It's time to throw your precious delicacy and tact out the window and attack the problem head-on. Be forceful, direct, brutally honest, and uncompromising here. In this particular case there's not much room for compromise, anyway; laying down the law is definitely the thing to do. Be the stubborn goat you are, lower your head, and charge. Don't let people think there's wiggle room when there's not. They'll just be that much more pissed when you pin them to the wall.Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)It's hard for me to imagine not voting. Nevertheless, that's what nearly half of the eligible people in this country do on Election Day—exactly nothing (except perhaps complain). I don't feel much sympathy for people who don't exercise the power they have, even if it's limited or they believe it to be ineffective. Don't be one of those unimaginative losers. Go ahead and bitch about the state of affairs if you like—but please also exercise whatever power you have to reshape it to your liking. You're usually one to stand up for what you believe in, even if it appears to be a "lost cause." I'd be mightily disappointed if you let me down now.Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)Just because you're being pushed in a certain direction doesn't mean you actually have to go there. You Fish are entirely too accommodating in general, but you need to learn to defy the negative influences in your life. They are as pervasive and persistent as gravity, but they're also as resistible. Don't be so flimsy. Stiffen your spine, harness your willpower, and choose to pursue the course that will make you happiest, regardless of your pathetic detractors. A little conscious effort will keep you from slouching at your laptop; similarly, a determined decision can keep you from succumbing to the forces at work upon you now.Aries (March 21–April 19)Nearly every Aries I know has a superhero complex. You believe you're capable of superhuman feats. That belief actually sometimes is enough to carry you through some seemingly impossible situations. However, frequently confidence can't sustain you by itself, and you end up injuring, exhausting, or screwing yourself over. An important part of every Ram's journey is recognizing their own limitations. You should stretch those throughout your life, of course, but until you identify where they are, you run the risk of repeatedly pushing yourself too far. Remember that you can't actually leap tall buildings, command legions of flying monkeys, or force people to tell the truth. Get over that, and show us what superhuman exploits you can do.Taurus (April 20–May 20)You're sometimes glacially slow to change, which is why it's almost inconceivable that anyone could drag their feet more than you do. Nevertheless, that's the case this week. Sometimes wrapping your head around a transformation that flies in the face of everything you've ever known can take a while. You understand this. Since it's not you experiencing this sea change, perhaps you'll be able to help the other person through it. I hope you have the patience and understanding you always wish people had with you when you were reluctant to leap into something. Remember, what goes around comes around—the good as well as the bad.Gemini (May 21–June 20)If you watch too much reality television, you may begin to feel that deception and withholding information is the only way to achieve what you want from your peers, but that is absolutely the wrong way to go. I can only recommend leaving behind any tactic you might see on TV. You don't need that kind of drama. Keep things more real than that, and more honest. You actually can get most of what you want simply by speaking the truth and asking for it. While there's a slight chance you might get more by using lies of omission or outright deceit, it's just not worth it.Cancer (June 21–July 22)I don't mind when people complain, but I'll confess it's irritating when that's virtually all they ever do. Cancers have a knack for focusing on the negative at certain times; this is something you have to make a conscious effort to thwart. This tendency can become self-fulfilling if you're not careful. Watch yourself this week. You might be surprised by how many of the things you say could be taken as whining, bitchiness, or general negativity, even if you don't mean them that way. Fix that. Make sure that 75% of what comes out of your mouth is positive; the best part is that 75% of your life is likely to start feeling that affirmative too.Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)I don't blame you for your pride, but I hope you can see how it keeps you from certain opportunities or experiences. You slam shut some doors that a humbler person might leave open, in the name of being treated "fairly" or as you deserve. You're probably even correct about the right or wrong of it. But a person who's willing to bend further is going to have the experience, while you're not. Could you be a little more flexible? It might involve forgetting for a while how brilliant and great you are. This week give it a go just to see what happens.Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)Don't take your service too far. When you do stuff above and beyond the call of duty, it's all too easy for people to get into the habit of taking advantage of you. That's likely to become obvious this week; but once you have dirty footprints on your face, it might feel a bit awkward or too dramatic to bring it up, since you did lie down in front of them. However, this is a now-or-never scenario. Stand up, brush yourself off, and set your boundaries straight. If you wait any longer, the only option you'll have left is to walk away entirely. After all the time and effort you've put in, that'd be pretty damn lame.Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)Who broke up with whom, really? It's very hard to overcome personal feelings of rejection and reach out to someone when there's been a rift (whether the relationship was romantic, work-related, or simply friendly); nevertheless, it's usually a good idea. Unfortunately, in this particular case, you almost certainly have to be the bigger person here and make the first (and possibly the second or third) move. Do you have that kind of enlightened, forgiving attitude? Can you step up and make the best of a bad situation? Or are you really going to let your sore ego ruin yet another great (if imperfect) situation?

 
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