"What makes you so special?" she asked.
"Let's not get bogged down in trivial details," I replied. "I am a rich, successful journalist and entrepreneur—enough said."
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"I'd need to know more about you."
"The margaritas there are excellent."
"No chance, loser. And what's with the teeth veneers and fake tan?"
Plainly this woman could not fully grasp my vision. So I took my leadership to the produce section.
11) How I Ended Up With a Dog Named Dubya
Early in Rossi's 2004 gubernatorial run, one of his kids, eager for a new family pet, wrote to President Bush asking for his help. The president responded with a handwritten note of support. And thus the pound-rescued mutt was named Dubya. It was a golden campaign moment that earned Rossi considerable TV exposure. When the two Republicans met at a Spokane fundraiser, Bush said with his characteristic confidence, "Dino, you are going to win."
Rossi, of course, did not win his race, yet he declares, "We all benefited from the experience and learned a great lesson in life: anything is possible."
This was a hard chapter to apply to my own life. Its lessons seemed contradictory—unless the takeaway is that everybody likes dogs. Then I realized, upon studying Rossi's Web site, that he has successfully distanced himself from a damaged brand. While his 2005 book portrays a warm personal relationship with the president, there doesn't seem to be a single mention of Bush on the current version of Rossi's Web site.
Confidence, optimism, relentless good cheer—those are the qualities one wants in a leader, and in a dog. Those who are successful and always forward-looking consider "how much greater the possibilities may be than you might think." That's what separates the new dog, the winning dog, from the old dog that drools on the carpet and can't hold his pee. Old dogs can be put to sleep when the kids are at soccer practice. (Or just haul them out to Carnation and remove the tags.) New dogs drive marketing campaigns; they launch brand awareness; they follow tennis balls into the future, where all good customers (and voters) can be found.
That's why I decided to name my new dog Obama.
12) Family, the Governor's Race, and the Future
Current polls for the Rossi-Gregoire rematch are again very close. Three years ago, when writing this book, Rossi was evidently still smarting from the previous election. He alludes ominously to "the left-wing group Moveon.org and government employee labor unions" and to misdeeds in King County—"a Democratic stronghold, [that] did not appear to be following its own regulations, much less state law."
He observes that "hundreds of felons had voted illegally" and "many precincts where my opponent was strongly supported somehow had more ballots than the number of voters."
"We knew we were up against a political machine," says Rossi. Yet he claims not to be angry about the 2004 election. Instead, he writes, "We learned that you can handle anything, no matter how difficult, with grace and decorum. We refused to become bitter."
So on my 12th and final day of Rossi, I vowed to embrace his cardinal values of "a positive attitude, perseverance, leadership, integrity, and courage."
That was just before the police came to arrest me for wire fraud, operating an illegal bank, predatory lending, practicing medicine without a license, animal cruelty, and violating a restraining order in the frozen-foods aisle.
But I refuse to become bitter.
And that is why, trial date pending, I will be voting for Dino Rossi on November 4. I know what good he has done for me—and what good he can do for the state.
bmiller@seattleweekly.com
