This Week's Horoscopes

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22) Forget being efficient and getting a lot done this week. Ignore the Virgos, who work as though they have four arms and two heads and can do 12 things at once. Multitasking is just not your friend right now. In order to get anything accomplished, be single-minded. It's OK to have a long list of items on your agenda, but only tackle one at a time, and don't get upset when you don't get as far down the list as you'd planned. Work faster than a steady pace, and you'll likely spread yourself too thin and end up doing a half-assed job. Remember, redoing something you screw up will take way more time than doing it slowly and carefully the first time around. Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21) There's no question you're hot. You can probably seduce whomever you'd like; the combination of your charisma and confidence are very hard to resist. The real question is whether you should. Remember, ethically, you ought to make an effort to leave anyone you're involved with (on whatever level) at least a little better off than you found them. When considering drawing a new person or three into your tangled web, keep that in mind. What beautiful gift will you give them to take with them as they move forward through their lives? Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) With fuel supplies tight where I live, it's become an expensive, time-consuming pain in the ass to fill up the car. There's a cynical part of me that's glad; for some people, nothing else would encourage them to assess honestly how much they actually use their vehicles, or to consider other options like carpooling, public transport, or biking. This kind of thoughtful conservation is where we should be at, anyway; it's simply too bad that it takes a fuel shortage to get us there. Sometimes people need a little push to change their ways. Luckily this week you have the power to give it to them. Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19) Your plans are dough, rising. The best thing you can do right now is simply to leave them alone. They should be able to carry on entirely free of your interference. There's a right moment to dig your hands back into them and help the process along, but you've got to be able to recognize when that is. Getting prematurely involved could royally screw up the process, forcing you to start from scratch again. I know it's difficult to resist the temptation to keep checking on things and trying to help them along; nevertheless (unless you want to set yourself up for loads of frustration and needless hard work), that is what you have to do. Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) You know what you like. It's actually pretty specific. So why are you willing to delude yourself that something totally different might do in a pinch? Forcing yourself to like something has never worked before. Why the hell would it be a good idea this time around? You're just setting up yourself and the others involved for a huge disappointment and a lot of wasted time. It'd be kinder just to nip this in the bud, admit you're never going to go there, and move on to something or someone that will actually be able to hold your interest. Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20) The problem with being so adaptable is that it's easy to be whatever's expected of you—for a while. However, this kind of flexibility only gets you into trouble, because sooner or later your real personality, needs, and desires will surface. In the end you have to create your own boundaries and stay more or less true to yourself. It's OK to bend a little; compromises are inherent in virtually every kind of relationship. However, you must stop yourself from going too far. Just because you can bend over backwards or twist yourself into knots doesn't mean you should. Aries (March 21–April 19) Anything goes as long as no one gets hurt. I give you permission to use this Full Moon in your sign to explore the wildest aspects of your nature—as long as you also take pains to make sure you keep everyone involved from getting hurt (emotionally or physically), including yourself. That shouldn't require more than an extra step or two or a word here or there. These are simply steps you shouldn't skip and words that shouldn't remain unsaid. Once they've been done and said, though—go nuts. It's going to be a blast. I for one can't wait. Taurus (April 20–May 20) I'm a big fan of taking calculated risks. That's why I'm advising against this one. By my calculations, shimmying further out on that limb isn't worth the jeopardy you'd put yourself in. Sure, that apple on the furthest twig is the ripest and juiciest on the whole tree, but it's really only slightly riper and juicier than the one you have right here. Why risk life and limb for something you may not even get (even if the branch doesn't break, you could knock the apple down), and which may not be perceptibly better than the sure thing you've already got? Unless you have a better answer than I do, I suggest you quit while you're ahead. Gemini (May 21–June 20) I hate it when people put shit off with the excuse "I'm just waiting for the right moment." The vast majority of the time, there are no "right moments" except those we create. Sometimes one happens, but we don't realize it until after the fact. The only consistent way around this is to trust yourself and just make stuff happen in your own time. You know this. However, this week there actually might be a few perfect opportunities you can recognize in time to take advantage of them. I'm not too worried; if you miss one, I know you're perfectly capable of creating your own. But keep your eyes open. Catching a few of these could put you well ahead of the game. Cancer (June 21–July 22) Make a decision and stick to it already. All this hemming and hawing is pointless and unnecessary, and likely to piss people off. Also, don't get flustered when they get impatient with your desire to engage in needless debate. For whatever reason, you're feeling wishy-washy. Please try to ignore this feeling. None of the choices you're making are all that important or earth-shattering. They certainly don't merit this kind of thought or indecision. Just pick something, arbitrarily if necessary, and stick to it. Even if it turns out later to be the "wrong choice," it's still not that big a deal. Leo (July 23–Aug. 22) Your ruling "planet," the sun, is in the sign of balance, Libra. Use this time to work on bringing equilibrium to your life. You don't want your ego to be so big that it presents an obstacle that keeps you from real connections with other people. But recognize that it's also a source of strength, and that you need to tap into it sometimes. Being a cowardly lion might be endearing to some, but not so much to the people you prefer to attract. Stick up for what you believe in, make noise when necessary, and keep your little kingdom running smoothly. Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) Might as well make yourself comfortable. You're going to be "here" for a while. You're stuck in a spiritual traffic jam that's likely to keep you from getting anywhere fast. Simply turn off the engine, get out and stretch your legs, and look for someplace to pee. Avoid getting frustrated or impatient trying to figure out what the "problem" is (it's nothing you can solve right now), or feeling anxious that you're missing something important. You are where you are. Make the best of your circumstances, and if you get bored, take the time to plan what you'll do when the congestion clears up and you're able to hit your top speed again. I'm not sure you really know where you ought to go once you can go anywhere at all. Do you? If not, this is the perfect time to figure it out.

 
comments powered by Disqus