Darryl Won’t “Tapp That Ass”

But the ’Hawks’ defensive end wants you to “step up your game.”

ACE for Men has tapped Seahawks defensive end Darryl Tapp to endorse the company's new line of men's grooming products. Tapp, a Virginia native who returns home each summer to "stay on the sofa" at his mother's house, makes no bones about his fondness for pedicures. In fact, Tapp was en route to an appointment at Good Manicure and Nails in Chesapeake a couple weeks ago when he submitted to the following Buzzer Beater (www.seattleweekly.com/buzzerbeater) interrogation.Buzzer Beater: You say on the ACE website that Josh Wilson and Baraka Atkins are the two Seahawks who most require grooming attention. What sort of manscaping are they in need of?Darryl Tapp: Facial things. Baraka has the sideburn thing going on. He likes to keep them wild and hairy, but he needs to take care of that. And Josh has the Evan Almighty thing going on right now.BB: Were you the sort of kid who came home with leaves in his hair, or were you always dressed like a mini–Kanye West?DT: I was definitely the kid who had leaves in his hair. My mom and my brother had to teach me my grooming techniques.BB: At what age did you come into your own; what was the turning point, from a personal grooming standpoint?DT: Sophomore year in college, getting ready for a formal event, a fraternity dance. You gotta step up your game.BB: Have you ever waxed anything on your body?DT: No waxing. That's inappropriate.BB: Would you ever wax a teammate's back hair, if he was really in need?DT: No. He's gotta ask his wife or girlfriend or a loved one to do that. I can't help him.BB: [Boston Celtic] Big Baby Davis is also an ACE grooming spokesman. He's a big dude. If you two squared off in the octagon, who would win?DT: I gotta say me. I'm just an aggressive type of guy. He's a lightweight compared to people I see every Sunday.BB: Remember when 49ers quarterback Alex Smith waxed his eyebrows the year he was taken first in the draft? Did he go overboard?DT: Yeah, I remember that. To each his own—that's all I can say.BB: Do you feel that by endorsing products that emphasize male beauty, you're liable to catch shit from your teammates?DT: No. At this level, guys want to take care of themselves.BB: As for future endorsement opportunities, would you consider endorsing a line of condoms called Tapp That Ass?DT: I'm at a loss for words right now. Condoms are a great thing to use if you're practicing sex, but I don't think my mom would approve.

 
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