This Week's Horoscopes

Gemini (May 21–June 20) Look harder. Your seeming lack of options isn't really because you're wedged between a rock and a hard place. It's actually about your lack of creativity. You haven't been especially resourceful or imaginative when it comes to evaluating your situation. You saw a rock, you saw a hard place, and you concluded, "Well, that's it. Damn, I'm stuck!" I will grant you that your situation is less than ideal, but it's hardly inescapable. It's just that gracefully extricating yourself from it will require more ingenuity than you've demonstrated so far. You're a master of duality. Try to look at things from more than one perspective at once. At that point your route of egress will be obvious. Cancer (June 21–July 22) Let's pretend you're planning a vacation. You have your heart set on Fiji, but the person you're going with is gung-ho about Alaska. Now, there's no need to talk yourself into anything you won't be happy with. However, there's a huge difference between convincing yourself of something and simply being open to it. Stop pretending to listen and really listen. This decision is about a lot more than whether you'd rather lay on the beach or go look at grizzly bears. Open up, damn it. Truly consider all the options. If you can't, your vacation (or whatever it is you're deciding) is going to suck, no matter where you end up. Leo (July 23–Aug. 22) Your ego is a dangerous thing. It gets you into all kinds of trouble. Someone charming knows how to stroke it and suddenly you're swept up in a moment that's actually about your pleasure, instead of real mutual respect or attraction. You need to be a hard-nosed realist right now, and not go somewhere that's going to get someone hurt, just because it feels good right now. This doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing scenario, but finding the happy middle ground will take a truly logical, almost business-like perspective. Figure out what you actually want, and make sure this is it before you travel further down the path. If it's not, correct your course now before it's too late. Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) This is all about prevention. A small action now could save you from a heap of angst later. Kill a mosquito in springtime, and you've essentially killed thousands or millions of her descendants in one go. Just a small slap, and your summer has a hundred fewer mosquito bites. There is a bit of moral relativism here, and only you can decide where you draw the line. Is it okay to kill one mosquito in order to limit future aggravation from its offspring? How about kicking someone off the team because you know they'll do more harm than good? It's up to you to decide how much you're willing to do to prevent outcomes you don't want, but decide quickly, please. If you decide to act, the time to do so is this week, when you'll get the most benefit from the least action. Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22) You can waste time with the best of them, you know that? You're a champion idler. I'm not talking about just whiling away an afternoon here. I'm referring to your phenomenal ability to allow whole years of your life to pass without significantly moving forward on any of the things that are most important to you—in theory, at least. I can't help thinking that if they were actually important, you'd actually do something about them. Tell you what. Prove me wrong, if I am. Use this week to make a move. Don't waste a second. You'll need every one. Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21) You may not enjoy it when someone pins you down and makes you squirm, but sometimes it's the only way to get a straight answer out of you, or to get you to make a decision and then stick to it. While it might feel better to be simply left to your own devices, can you recognize that those who are intent on pushing you in this way are mostly doing it to make you happier and ultimately improve your life? Even if they're the ones who make you the most uncomfortable, it may turn out that they're also the ones who love you the most. Try to see that, and be grateful, not resentful, when you're better for it. Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) Take pride in what you've accomplished but don't slow down for accolades. You're just getting started. The only real obstacle between you and your most ambitious short-term goals is your own ego. Stop to enjoy the fruits of your labors and soak up some recognition, and you're liable to lose precious momentum and never get where you're going. Save all that stuff for later. Yes, that means that you may never get to enjoy these particular rounds of applause, but if you get where you're going (and this is the only way you will), there'll probably be plenty more. Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19) You don't like being wrong. Who does? But you especially hate it when you're caught in a mistake, and you'll usually wriggle and squirm and try to get out of it. On some occasions, you've even managed to get the blame pinned on someone else. In your book, that's simply making the best of a bad situation. In my book, it's understandable, but it's also going to get you into even more trouble. 'Fess up. Own what you've said and done. However painful and embarrassing that might be for you, please trust me—the alternative would be much, much worse. Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) You're fine with bending the rules. In your world, they're just loose guidelines, not meant for someone with vision and imagination. What you're less OK with, of course, is getting caught. Sometimes you're so slick that this is hardly a concern; other times you're not quite as good at covering your tracks and making sure you get away with your little shenanigans. That might be the case this week. Have you gotten sloppy? If so, why? There could very well be a part of you that's done with this kind of mischief. Is it possible you want to get caught? If not, I'd either clean up your act or get better at covering your tracks, now. Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20) There are rats nesting in your couch. Yes, just inches beneath your ass is a little den full of sleeping vermin. What'll you do now that you know? Certainly continuing to watch television isn't exactly an option. Chances are you'd destroy the couch and do your best to ensure nothing like this ever happened again. The good news is that there aren't literally rodents in your furniture. The bad news is that a rat of some kind has burrowed its way into your life and is now nestled as close to you as your couch cushion. Expose it and get rid of it, pronto. Aries (March 21–April 19) Although you're certainly capable of being incredibly romantic, sometimes you Rams can become a bit too hard-nosed for true romance. I find that tragic. Because in the past you've been embarrassed when your sappy gestures were sneered at by some thick-skinned cynic, you're reluctant to go there again. But go there you should; think of all the other times when your sweet sentimentality was well-received, and how good it made people feel. It's time to go out on a limb again. Be a sweet, romantic sap. It's dorky, yes. It's also one of your most endearing qualities. Taurus (April 20–May 20) It's hard for you to separate your personal feelings from the situation. It's not that you're incapable of seeing things clearly, it's that you like that your emotions cloud your judgment. You're quite simply unwilling to make the effort to remove yourself and observe things dispassionately. You're probably aware that this will get you into more trouble than not, but you probably also don't care. Fine. You're allowed to look at things however you please. Just one thing: Some people are making assumptions about your input. They probably believe it's founded in logic, not emotion. In the interest of full disclosure, make sure they're clued in to where you're actually coming from.

 
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