Was it really necessary that the lead characters in Swan Lake (warning: spoiler!) drown themselves? How many ill-fated lovers does this world need? I want to see lithe bodies dancing, damn it, not dying. Fortunately, PNB will shed its elegant airs during the Laugh Out Loud! Spring Dance Festival to deliver a parody of ballet clichés. In a production sure to teeter the fine line between theater and camp, Bob Dylan will replace Tchaikovsky and leading lady Katarina Bychkova will be a dude. Oh, and the dancers should make it through the entire performance alive, too. McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St., 441-2424, www.pnb.org. $20-80. 2 p.m. (Also: 7:30 p.m. Thurs. April 17-Fri. April 18; 1 and 7 p.m. Sun. April 20.) ERIKA HOBART

Sat., April 19, 2 p.m., 2008