Aries (March 21–April 19)
Finally, the spotlight is on you! Don't blink, or you might miss it, though. Also, don't look or listen behind you, or you might notice the handful of asses in the wings booing and jeering and doing their very best to salt your game. This is your very brief but glorious moment to shine; are you going to let your naysayers ruin it for you? Use that famous single-mindedness of yours to enjoy it to the fullest and tune them out completely. You can worry about them later, when you're not in the middle of something that could be potentially incredible. Right now, though, I'd enjoy that.
Taurus (April 20–May 20)
Usually you're happy with things as they are, but occasionally you get hungry for just that little bit of excitement and adventure. Most of the time, you suppress this urge, for fear that your desires could ruin all the good stuff you have. This week, however, you should feel free to indulge, within reason. You've earned a lot of good credit; go spend some of it. Enjoy yourself, and come back happy. Those you love will be glad to see you go there, even if you do misbehave a little. The only caveat to all these naughty good times: whatever you do get up to, don't lie about it later.
Gemini (May 21–June 20)
You can't rely on technicalities to save your ass. Obeying the letter of the law but not its spirit is sneaky, and you know it. I don't care if you helped write the law and included this loophole specifically—those whose trust you violate are going to call shenanigans, and they're right. If you decide to go there anyway, don't try to defend yourself with semantics. There are so many people ready to call you out on that bullshit, it's not funny. Go on and do what you want, if it's that important to you, but don't think you can do it and not get caught—and probably (at least metaphorically) spanked.
Cancer (June 21–July 22)
Your incredibly astute perception is more weakness than strength, this week. Because you're able to read between the lines of what's before you, and assess how people really feel—as opposed to how they say they feel—you have access to extra information. You could use that information to empower yourself, but you're most likely to use it to make yourself feel bad, hold yourself back, and generally sabotage the situation. Can you stop yourself from doing that, Cancer? If not, perhaps you could try another strategy: ignoring your gut. That goes against what you're all about, I know—but if your intuition is only going to make you miserable right now, what good is it?
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)
Some people are simply always going to bug you. Being who you are, they're probably going to notice, eventually, that you're not exactly beaming love and affection their way. What do you do when they approach you about it? Your natural inclination is to just tell the truth, but in this case, I'd say spare yourself the headache. Stirring up this shit isn't likely to get them to change, and, to be fair, this is as much your baggage as anything to do with them. Tell them you're moody and not to worry about it—and resolve to try to be nicer to them in the future, starting this week.
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)
You're good at letting the big stuff slide. You can make huge decisions almost flippantly, because you've laid the foundation for them by attending to all the little details underneath. Unfortunately, it's exactly those details that trip you up. Your focus on the nitty-gritty is frequently—and especially lately—a source of annoyance and frustration for you. I'm sure you often wish you could just ignore them the way other people seem to. However, I urge you to look at the flip side of that intense awareness—an appreciation for the details. There's tremendous beauty to be found among them, beauty that most others simply aren't privy to. Use that beauty to counterbalance the aggravation that comes with attending to those fundamentals that other people are able to (but shouldn't) ignore.
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)
You can be a little bit of an elitist. Although your standards don't necessarily match those of others, or of society, you still place value on certain things, and those who don't seem to be up to snuff just don't get the time of day from you. Fine. No one's asking you to go out and make friends who don't turn your crank. However, your snobbiness could have negative repercussions for you, this week, because some of those people you consider so far beneath you could actually contribute quite a lot to your life—if you'd bother to let them play even a minor role in it.
Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)
You're generally reluctant even to try something new unless you know ahead of time that you're likely to be quite good at it right off the bat. That's understandable, but also a shame, because some of the things you could be genius at would require plenty of time, practice, and embarrassing failures to get to that point. I know you're disinclined to endure the mildly humiliating learning process involved in beginning something completely new. Screw that. We all start somewhere. Considering the awesome place you could end up, I say get over yourself and give this a go, already.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)





















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