I'm Over Him, but Not the Dogs

Unfortunately, I don't often get updates from readers who've taken my advice, but this week I did. On Feb. 27, I ran a letter from a young lady who was a little nervous about getting back together with an ex who had a lousy track record on the fidelity front. I advised her to give him a chance if that's what she wanted, but to be careful with her heart. I told her that in order for things to work out, he had to re-earn her trust. Here's what happened:I wanted to update you on how everything is going. Turns out my now-ex-boyfriend really is a compulsive cheater. Things were going great, then he started talking to his ex again—the same one he cheated with before. After a whirlwind of complete bullshit, emotion, and lies, I told him that I deserve much more than he would ever give me and broke up with him.I feel stupid for trusting him and allowing him to break my heart again, but at least I got to dump him this time and got out before I caught him in the act or wasted any more time. I really did love him and wanted so badly for it to work, but I know that it is for the best. Thank you for your advice. I am glad I stuck with it and that it ended this way, because now I won't be left wondering for years to come if it would have worked out if I gave him the chance. Now I need to go to the bar, get fucked, and move on.Cautiously Optimistic No More

Damn, that was quick. I'm sorry that your ex turned out to be such an unrepentant jackass, but happy that you didn't waste a lot of time finding that out. Onward, young person!While dating my previous boyfriend, I developed a close bond with his two dogs. He used to joke to his family that I loved his dogs more than I loved him (which was kind of true). It's been over a year since our breakup, and while I've gotten over my ex, I still really miss his dogs. I stare longingly at dogs on the street that resemble them, and recently I've even started dreaming that I find a way to see them. I've considered adopting a dog, but my current living situation prevents me from having animals. Is there a better way to deal with these emotions than just ignoring them?Missing Them, Not Him

I have a dog crush, too. Mine is a little white French bulldog that lives five blocks away in one of those horrible, soulless glass condo buildings. I don't know his owner from Adam, but am positive little Barky (not his real name) would be much happier with me. Alas, my landlady is OK with cats, but not dogs. So instead, I stalk.Anyway, an acquaintance of mine was in a similar situation to yours—loved the dog, disliked the boy—but when they broke up, the two of them worked out visitation. I would've thought continued contact with the ex would be a problem, but she claims it's not and lives for her time with Fido.The difference is, they took care of all this in the midst of their breakup. Unless you're still friends with your ex, it would be kind of weird for you to go back after all this time apart and suggest he let you hang out with the pups every now and again. So what you should do—since you can't have pets of your own—is start volunteering at a shelter.Most shelters desperately need volunteers to help walk dogs, bathe them, clean cages (I know, not glam), and help out at adoption events. It gives you the canine contact you crave and helps all the sad little lonely pups waiting to be adopted. Plus, it's a documented fact that dogs are men magnets.Mark your calendars! I will be hosting the Lifelong AIDS Alliance's "Pillow Talk Gay Bingo" on April 12. Tickets are currently sold out, but you can call 323-0069 to be put on the wait list.Judy McGuire is the author of How Not to Date. Dating dilemmas? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

 
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