This Week's Horoscopes

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) Don't look at not being included in something as being deliberately left out, or as anything personal. There are many other factors you may not be aware of or that you're deliberately blinding yourself to. You can go ahead and see this as a personal slight, but you'd only be shooting yourself in the foot in the long run. Treating someone as if they've insulted you when they're actually just doing their job will earn you scorn, defensiveness, and a reputation as prickly and clueless—but certainly not a place in whatever you wanted to be part of. See the big picture, chill out, and wait your turn. It'll come. Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20) Seeing the possibility of freedom loom before you can be terrifying. It's very much like that feeling that washes over you when standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing that with one choice—a whim, even—you could go tumbling off it. Choosing freedom, too, is risky. You could die. But it's not as surely lethal as leaping into the Grand Canyon would be. Turn away from it if you must; your cage is pretty nicely gilded, after all. But at least walk up to the precipice, take a deep breath, and think about jumping off. Aries (March 21–April 19) You want to help? Lend someone your expertise. I know that your interests have changed, and you'd rather devote your energy to the areas you're still a newbie in, that are still exciting and fresh. However, because you're still just learning, you can't actually be all that helpful. We need you for the stuff you're good at right now. Revisiting your old haunts and doing shit you've already done a thousand times may not be all that interesting, but it would be incredibly accommodating and generous of you—and likely to inspire a littlereciprocal generosity, which is never a bad thing. Taurus (April 20–May 20) Most people will eventually edit a bad first impression of someone, if they see enough evidence to the contrary, but not you Bulls. You'll sometimes stick to that wrong idea to the bitter end, turning a completely blind eye to proof that things are contrary to what you believe. Isn't that what's happening now? No? Are you sure? If you'll admit it (a feat unto itself, I know), you haven't taken a close look at everything that's happened since a faux pas that made up your mind about someone. Won't you do that now? If you do so with an open mind, yes, you'll have to admit you were wrong. But that's a small price to pay, considering what you'll get in return: a great new friend. Gemini (May 21–June 20) The third time may be the charm. Won't you give this lovable loser a third chance? You might disagree philosophically with second or third chances, or resent them because of how rarely you've been cut a break, but sometimes it's a good idea to bend the rules. This is one of those times, because even though there's always a chance she'll strike out and fail miserably as she already has twice before, odds are that this time she'll rise up and pleasantly surprise everyone by actually pulling off whatever stunt she's previously crashed and burned on. Wouldn't you like to see that? You can. Cancer (June 21–July 22) Do you believe in ghosts? I do. Not necessarily spectral entities banging doors or slinging ectoplasm, but more like memories that have lives of their own. They influence you whether you like it or not—sometimes spurring you on, sometimes tripping you up or holding you back. Even though they live inside your head, it doesn't seem like you can control them. You can, though. They can be exorcised, chained, or even made into allies—but probably not by you alone. You need someone to help you wrangle your ghosts. This week, look for that person and you'll probably find him. Leo (July 23–Aug. 22) There's nothing wrong with using a calculator to figure out your bills if you suck at doing math in your head. Not bothering to do the math at all is another story. That would be bad. Recognize your weaknesses and own them. There's no need to feel bad about them. We all suck at some things, and it's better to identify what they are, and figure out a way to make up for them, than to not acknowledge or confront them at all. By ignoring the problem, you're exacerbating it. Go buy a calculator—or otherwise acquire the help you need to compensate for your shortcomings. Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) People like you. They really like you—except when they don't. Hopefully you've figured this out by now, but just in case you haven't: There is nothing you can do to make the people who don't like you start liking you. In fact, trying to do so is only likely to solidify their negative opinions about you. They may warm up to you eventually, but only on their own and on their own time. Trying to ingratiate yourself will only backfire, so please give it up. Enjoy the people who enjoy you and quite simply do your best to ignore the rest. Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22) Go ahead and pine away. Spin some sugar-spun fairy tale around your longing. Pretend you're Snow White singing, "Someday my prince(ss) will come...." Don't mind us sniggering behind our hands or feeling sorry for you because you're really that dopey. Or, go ahead and venture forth into the wilds. Dig up your own rough diamond, brave frightening monsters, and actually make shit happen. Waiting isn't doing you any good. It's time to kick your own ass and write your own fairy tale starring you as hero, not victim waiting to be rescued. Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21) If you want proof that you rock, look around you. Check out the people who love you. Their awesomeness, and the affection they bequeath upon you, should be evidence enough that you're great. I hope you can figure out a way to be satisfied with that. If you really have to look further to find the validation and appreciation you crave, you're going to get into trouble. In most cases, your quest will probably end in failure. Not only that, it's likely to sabotage at least some of the good stuff you've already got. Look at your friends again, and feel the love. With all this, you really shouldn't feel hungry for more. It's a veritable feast. Dig in. Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) Usually you're really good at sorting between your brilliant ideas and your abysmal ones—after the fact. Giving your inspired thinking a little time to percolate is always a good idea, especially when it's about something dramatic or potentially life-changing. I know there's a lot of energy in the idea right now, and you're going to want to run with it, but please resist that urge. There could be a wall up ahead, or you could end up running in the wrong direction, then have to work that much harder to make up lost ground. Keep your inspiration and temptation in check until the dust has had a little time to settle and you can be sure this is the right way for you to go. You might not run as fast, having waited, but you'll be a lot less likely to trip and fall flat on your face. Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19) Sell the complete package. By so strongly emphasizing only your strengths, you're really selling yourself short. Not only do you also bring a plethora of perfectly acceptable, solid, average skills to the table (without which your most brilliant talents don't mean as much), but by so diligently obscuring and hiding your weaknesses (which aren't as bad as you seem to think) you're presenting what's obviously not a complete picture. My advice: Let it all hang out. The good, the bad, the ugly. None of it is so bad nor so ugly that it will turn someone away, and by showing it all you add one more thing to your list of positive qualities: refreshing openness and honesty.

 
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