Rod Filbrandt

Dear Uptight Seattleite,

The Democratic caucuses—an appropriate place to pick up women or not?

Not Above Caucus Puns

Dear Not Above,

No, dude, not appropriate. Come on, you know what's at stake here. On the other hand, and I offer this purely as a hypothetical, if you're a male Obama supporter, it might be OK to make a little friendly chitchat with an interesting-looking female Hillary supporter. By "interesting looking," I mean intelligent and passionate. And by "intelligent," I don't mean cold and calculating, nor by "passionate" do I mean overly emotional. Given how their candidate has been maligned, Hillary supporters are a bit sensitive about this. Understandably! Understandably sensitive! But not sensitive in some stereotypically feminine way. I didn't mean that.

One tactic could be to show that you, too, are sensitive. Remember what a NOW spokeswoman said about Ted Kennedy's Obama endorsement, that "women have just experienced the ultimate betrayal"? Demonstrate your knowledge that this betrayal goes even deeper. Say, "The root of 'hysterical' is womb. It's hard when the language itself is against you, isn't it? Hi, my name's [your name]." She'll surely be impressed by your delicate feelings.

Of course, as an Obama supporter, you know all about feelings. They compose the magic carpet on which Obama is going to fly us all to a golden future. But be prepared for the Hillary supporter to snap at you, "Change what, exactly? Hope for what?" Maybe she doesn't feel the magic yet. That's OK! We all evolve at our own pace. Let her know that when she does decide to give in to the inevitable, she'll be welcome aboard. After all, if we can't get together somehow, we're all doomed.

Dear Uptight Seattleite,

Is the word "dude" dumb and passé?

To Dude or Not to Dude

Dear Dude,

Not at all. It's funny and friendly. It's the American "mate." Ladle out "dudes" with abandon. (Or should that be "ladle out, dudes, with abandon"?)

Dear Uptight Seattleite,

You know Blue Ridge, that gated, richie-rich "covenant community" just south of Carkeek Park? They have a private beach surrounded by barbed wire–topped fences. I bet it sure is nice in there. Should a beach be in private hands at all? If so, how can I score an invitation?

Blue for Blue Ridge

Dear Blue for Blue,

Heck, I'll invite you myself! It's as lovely a spot as you'll find anywhere in the Northwest. Wide-open sky and an expanse of soft vanilla sand that makes the Carkeek Park beach look like a rocky mess.Pull up a piece ofdriftwood and watch the waves roll in. The murmur of the surf is interrupted only by the occasional drama of a passing train. Turn from the water to crane your neck up at a row of mansions of the kind you'd usually see only in a movie about glamorous criminals.

It wasn't a Blue Ridge resident who granted me this access to their private beach. It was my own two Salomon Trail Runners. And even though there's no public entrance, you can get there, too. Just head south along the shore at Carkeek Park. Past the tidal pool there's a strip of beach just wide enough for you to thread a path all the way to Blue Ridge. It's a pleasant 15-minute hike. The water usually chokes off the way, so you have to go at low tide (ask the Internet when this is). Once you arrive, your presence may attract a wary look from a Blue Ridge resident or two. You're not one of them, and they know it. Don't worry though. They probably won't kick you out. Even if their community was founded as an ultraexclusive enclave by William Boeing himself. It's actually sort of funny that the place within the city limits that looks the most like how it was in the time of the Indians is now limited almost entirely to white people. That's not an official Blue Ridge rule. Not now, anyway. But their "covenant" as originally written included this clause:

No person other than one of the White or Caucasian race shall be permitted to occupy any property...except a domestic servant actually employed by a person of the White or Caucasian race....(Check this out for yourself at Historylink.org.)

Don't stick around on the Blue Ridge beach too long. You don't have the key that will let you pass through the high steel fence, and the tide will soon be back to drown the only exit for the nonwhite and the nonrich.

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