Enchanted: Susan Sarandon as Cougar-Hot Evil Mommy

The premise had promise: Characters from a “vintage” Disney movie suddenly find themselves thrust into our world. But somewhere between conception and execution, what could have been so much smart, sharp fun turned decidedly pedestrian. Julie Andrews (aw…) narrates the opening animated sequence about a girl named Giselle (voiced by Amy Adams) who pines for a Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet. Giselle meets Prince Edward (James Marsden), whose evil mommy (Susan Sarandon) is none too pleased about a commoner taking her throne. So she dispatches Giselle to the Real World, the entranceway to which is a sewer that runs through Times Square. Before long, Giselle, now played by Adams in the flesh, rescues a divorce attorney named Robert (Patrick Dempsey), who has little time for the whimsical or romantic. Which doesn’t stop him from allowing Giselle to sleep on his couch, in the apartment he shares with his 6-year-old daughter. Because there aren’t crazy people running around New York claiming to be princesses. Not at all. The animated sequences are made to look old but instead look shabby—Disney, circa 2002’s direct-to-video Cinderella II: Dreams Come True. And it gets worse. Enchanted can’t even be bothered to adhere to its own internal logic. That may not sound like a big deal, but when your movie’s got but a single gag, you have to tell the joke right.