This Week's Horoscope

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Fear captures the imagination. It compels. It's sensational and attention-grabbing. It's also soul-numbing and incredibly restricting. How limited are you by fear? First, count all the influences on you that try to make you afraid. That might mean your well-meaning friend delivering a warning, or a 10-second spot for the evening news, or some "War on Terror" propaganda, or your intimidating boss, or a million other things. I think you'll be surprised at how often you're influenced and encouraged to feel afraid. Then consider this: Only the tiniest fraction of all that shit is worth listening to, and worth limiting yourself for, in the name of reasonable caution. Reject, utterly, the other 90 percent. Then do your best to excise it from your life.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Finally, you're ready to get real concerning your relationships. For too long you've been letting your totally unrealistic (and beautiful) dream relationships get in the way of having real ones. It's a tougher choice to make than it sounds like, choosing between the gorgeous fantasy and clunkier, chunkier reality. But eventually you'll realize it's no choice at all—something (with its own beauty and satisfaction) is a whole lot better than nothing. You can still indulge in the dream, in the privacy of your own mind. But never let it come between you and the real thing, which is, ultimately, harder to live without.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Consider the wisdom of your body, the way it can absorb knowledge and make actions automatic. I'm talking about the way you can drive or ride a bike without thinking about it. I love how I can look at my computer screen and watch the words I'm thinking simply appear because my fingers are so used to finding the keys. Too many of your screwups happen simply because you overthink them. You try too hard. Just relax, and trust the work and practice you've already put in. You might find you already rock at whatever it is you're trying to do.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Sum peepl advoekaet sum kiend of spelling reform, as a wae of elimnaeting redundint lettrs and to supoesdly enhants corrispondnts with the wae we speek English. As U can see heer, it's serpriezingly reedibl, and yet sumthing about it leevs U coeld. Saem goes for the cuts and chaenjs U hav contemplaetid laetly. Lief wil go on without thoes missing peesis. It miet even be mor efishent (tho it's aktoouly mor liekly to be similerly complikaetd bi ur eferts to simplifi it). The maen qestchun is: Will it be betr? I think not. Leave the extra letters and pieces in, and make the best of things as they are.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Escape the oppression of noise. You need space to unfold, relax, expand. You'd be surprised at how noise prevents you from properly doing that. Nearby construction, lawn mowing, dogs barking, traffic, and so on—these can all build up and make it so you can barely hear yourself think. You may believe you've developed a technique to screen out most of that shit, but it's actually slowly wearing you down. Find some true peace and quiet this week, whether that means retreating deep into the country or into a sensory-deprivation tank. You won't know what you've been missing until you find some actual silence. Then you'll wonder how you functioned happily without it.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

If you're going to travel, do it right. Being a weekend tourist is simply not the Sagittarian way. Sure, it's fun to see the sights and splash out on a nice meal, but you're not really fulfilling your potential unless you get under the skin of a place, and that means staying there for weeks or months, at least, and learning a bit of the language. Not many people have that luxury, but I hope you find a way. Until you do, practice. Don't flit along the surface of your life. Even when you encounter situations you find unpleasant, dig into them. Find out what's behind, underneath, and inside them—what makes them tick. You might just find something surprising there that makes your life richer.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

Capricorns have this reputation for practicality that you simply don't deserve. Efficiency and effectiveness? Absolutely. But pragmatism? Not so much. Your tendency toward extremes is what makes you so successful, at times. It can also destroy your relationships and sometimes your happiness. You just don't do things halfway most of the time. Generating perfect equilibrium and walking the middle of the road is boring, I know. This week, though, I hope you'll make an exception to that general rule, because only going halfway to the extreme you're capable of would be just the right amount.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

You've done the nightmare relationship. The breakup is like waking up. "What was I even thinking?" you demand, and your friends, who tried to give you a reality check all along, can only shrug and wish you hadn't ignored them back then, before you "wasted" all this time. It doesn't have to be wasted time, though—if you learn your lesson from it. Ignore what those experiences taught you, and you'll just find yourself sleepwalking through another few months, years, or relationships while your friends roll their eyes and gradually lose patience and faith. Is that you, destined to be an old fool who can't help reliving history over and over? Or can you get wiser while you get older, too?

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

The mid-20th-century residents of Tulsa, Okla., created a time capsule for folks 50 years later, burying a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere Sport Coupe under the county courthouse lawn. Although it was swaddled in rust-resistant preservatives and placed inside a concrete sarcophagus, the car was essentially a car-shaped pile of rust when it was unearthed a few weeks ago. Those 1957 folk probably pictured the future mayor proudly getting into that car, starting it up, and driving away, amidst cheering masses, but that didn't quite work out. That happens to many of our intentions for our future selves. They don't play out quite as we imagined. Keep making them anyway. Even if the car you bury now doesn't start in a few decades, you'll at least generate a pretty cool piece of conceptual art.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Everyone wants to be loved. You Rams have such a strong personal viewpoint, you sometimes forget other people are as insecure, scared, needy, or hurt as you are. Most of the time when they act badly toward you, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own shit. Try to retain that perspective this week, and not take it personally when someone buries you under their baggage. You don't have to carry it, but adding to it with your own will just make everyone (including you) more miserable. This week, do what you can to lighten others' loads, without adding too much to your own.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Last year billions of bees mysteriously disappeared. They simply never went back to their hives. No one knows why. Losing those little pollinators is a frightening prospect: So much of life is dependent on their busy little lives. We need bees. Love the bees! In fact, take note of all the little things that make your life better, the things other people and creatures do for you, and give them all a little overdue love and appreciation this week—in hopes that they'll keep doing it.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

It's an exciting time to be alive. We teeter on the verge of greatness and disaster. I believe we will, in our lifetimes, either get to some kind of significantly different chapter of human existence, or destroy ourselves (or both). I also believe that we aren't always aware of just how much of an impact we can have, as individuals, on the kind of future we create—in any case, it's more than you think. Don't believe yourself powerless, even if you're not as powerful as you think you should be. Do everything you can, even if you think the effort is meaningless; it'll turn out to be more impactful than you think.

 
comments powered by Disqus