Disturbia

There are worse things than a retread of Rear Window.

Otherwise known as a remake of Rear Window, even if the credits don’t admit as much, Disturbia does have one thing going for it: Shia LaBeouf, who plays Kale Brecht, a high-school goof who, during the movie’s opening minutes, watches his dad get killed in a gruesome traffic accident on their way home from a blissful fly-fishing trip. The incident renders Kale bitter, sullen, withdrawn, until one day he pops off in class and winds up in home detention during, naturally, summer break. Kale, electronically tethered to police HQ, can’t leave the confines of his yard, so he and his best friend, Ronnie, hide behind upstairs-window drapery to spy on the neighborhood: the preteen porn junkies who leave flaming bags of dog shit on doorsteps, the new Dream Girl Next Door (Sarah Roemer as Ashley), the creepy dude (David Morse, duh) with the dented Mustang just like the one driven by a suspected murderer. It’s only a matter of time before Ashley becomes the Nancy Drew to Kale and Ronnie’s horndog Hardy Boys. Disturbia is obvious, not at all surprising, and totally functional, which is intended as a sincere compliment.