Horoscope

Nov. 22–28, 2006

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

Only those who are attracted to the unattainable have fantasies about Sagittarian partners. Those poor suckers are doomed to disappointment as one Sag after another loves them and leaves them—or senses a looming commitment and stays away altogether. The rest of us are more realistic about our connections to you fascinating, sexy, and notoriously hard-to-pin-down Sagittarians. So when you're finally ready to commit—on whatever level—you're likely to have a hell of a time convincing us that it's not a passing whim or tremendous joke. This week's biggest challenge is overcoming your own hard-earned reputation and persuading everyone that you really intend to stick around this time.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

It's not that you Capricorns don't understand yourselves. It's that you're frequently convinced (usually with good reason) that the rest of the world doesn't understand you at all. Thus, you have no idea how to communicate what's going on inside you—which you actually understand very well—to those it concerns. You're so convinced they'll take it the wrong way that you garble it completely—ironically, thereby ensuring that they'll do exactly that. There are, luckily, at least a couple people ready and capable of really getting you. All you have to do is be clear, patient, and open. The rest, if you let it, will take care of itself.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

You've been waiting so long for the green light that you're likely to forget to go when it finally appears. Unfortunately, there's no one waiting behind you to give you a honk and remind you to hit the gas and proceed, finally, after ages of waiting. Let me be that impatient driver eager to get through the intersection before the light changes for another interminable wait. You've been stuck at this place long enough. You're not the only one who's ready for you to move on. The rest of us would love to see you go somewhere else, too. Check it out. Light's green. Go.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

Could you be any more sensitive? I've watched Pisces who otherwise resemble full-grown men act like insecure 13-year-old girls over someone's offhand, jokey comment about their weight. A casual remark—let alone an authentic critique—can send some of you into obsessive mental spirals worthy of any angst-ridden young teenager. The irony is that your confidence level doesn't match your looks, brains, or talent; a Leo gifted with any one of those would probably be an intolerable braggart. I'd hate for you to cultivate arrogance to match your gifts, but some confidence is long overdue. Work on that this week.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

There's something admirable about your principled but impetuous nature. It's also pretty dangerous, however, like when it compels you to rush out and join the armed forces out of some well-meaning idea that you ought to defend your country. Maybe you should; all I'm suggesting is that some decisions (like that one, for example) deserve careful consideration about what you'd be getting yourself into before you jump right in. Don't be brash about anything that requires more than a month of your time or the cash you have in your wallet, especially this week. Going with your gut is fine most of the time, but second thoughts can, occasionally, save you from your own well-meaning idiocy.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

If you've really put all of yourself into it, there's a point when whatever you've created develops a life of its own, whether we're talking about a work of art, a kid, or a relationship. You can no longer truly control it; even attempting to do so could kill it. All you can do is hang on, throw love at it, and occasionally try to gently steer it in the right direction, or at least keep it from flying off a cliff. This is a moment to be cherished and celebrated, however, not dreaded. Despite the inherent frustrations (especially if it's headed in a direction you're not fond of), independence and freedom are beautiful things. Keep that in mind this week.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Beware invisible peer pressure. For some reason, you imagine what people might think of you, and it keeps you from doing something (or not doing something). Your actions are limited not by others' actual opinions but by your best guesses about what they might be. When people actually try to pressure you into something, you're remarkably resistant. It's only your own fears about their judgment that compel you—usually in the wrong direction. Wipe all that speculation from your mind. Doing what you want (or simply what's right) is what you ought to be doing, regardless of what others think of it (or what you think they think).

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Thank goodness for that shell of yours. I know at times the emotional wall between you and most of the world (except for the select few you allow inside) is the bane of your existence. But there are other times, like this week, when you'll be pleased to have it. So what if you lack the thick skin or emotional resilience of a Sagittarian or Gemini? You've got a shell. Although in general it's good practice to keep that thing as wide open as possible, I'd advise against that at the moment. There's a storm coming. This is a good week to lock up tight and wait it out.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Congratulations, sort of. You've won third place in the astrological category "Tends Toward Extremes," following Pisces and (of course) Scorpio. Naturally, Leos gravitate more often to less specifically self-destructive extremes than those two signs, but that doesn't mean your own indulgences are exceptionally healthy. In fact, one or two of yours aren't doing you any good at all, especially because you don't even particularly enjoy them. Quit smoking already, or stop having the kind of relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself. Extremes are fascinating, until they're not. These are making you a less interesting person than you'd be without them. Ditch them already.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Like everyone, you have good days and bad days. Some days I'm just more focused, creative, energetic, and so on than I am on other days. Same with you. The difference between us is that you don't really acknowledge that. You expect yourself to perform at the top of your game at all times, and you're unduly harsh when you inevitably fall short once in a while. Cut yourself some slack. When you're at your best, you blow most of the rest of us away, at least in the Getting Shit Done department. Even on your worst days, you're still more proficient and efficient than your average Pisces. This week may have more supposedly "bad" days than good ones, but that doesn't mean they have to suck. They're actually quite likely to be lovely and pleasant—as long as you're not beating yourself up for not beating your own best records.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Although I'm usually bugged by anything you do that smacks of social climbing, I must admit that your ability to look out for yourself (and, by extension, those you love) is useful. This week it's likely to really come in handy. There are a few folks floating around who could help you out if they knew you needed the help and you made it worth their while. Before you start dishing out sexual favors, however, don't let your drive get the best of you. Your self-respect is still worth a lot more than your self-advancement. These people can't help you enough to make losing that worth your while.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Desire is a trap. Sometimes you want something so bad, you can't let it go—even when you know letting it go is the only way to get it. The problem is, there are no guarantees. (If there were, it wouldn't really be letting go, would it?) Here's where you've got to subject yourself to logic-driven tough love. Look at it this way: Desperately hanging on absolutely guarantees you won't get your wish. Letting go of it means you still probably won't get it, but you might. Even if you don't ever get it, releasing your desire means you can stop torturing yourself over it, and that's a good enough reason by itself.

 
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