Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)
Did you sprout extra limbs while I wasn't looking, Scorpio? Because it seems as if you've suddenly got fingers (and toes, and genitals) in every cooking pot in sight. I know you're in the mood to stir things up, but be wary of just how much you get involved in. You may have eight arms at the moment, but you've still got only two eyes. Some of those pots are bound to boil over when you're not looking. It won't matter how many arms you've got then, because mopping up those messes is going to be awful. Perhaps a better course of action would be to turn down the heat on some of the pots you've got cooking, before they erupt into disasters you really don't want to have to clean up.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)
The primary function of mainstream journalism is, perversely, to make money, not keep us informed. Nearly all news programs and papers are essentially designed to entertain, not keep us up-to-date on what's actually important (but probably not nearly as "interesting"). Once viewed in this way, it's quite obvious and understandable why they make the seemingly inane choices they do. It might be interesting for you to examine, this week, the motivations behind people's actions. They're not as obvious as you might think. Your increased understanding will lead not only to greater compassion but also to greater effectiveness; being part of the solution, after all, means truly understanding the problem.
Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)
Capricorns understand precautions. I'd wager that every one of you has an emergency reserve of cash in your bank account, a condom stashed in your wallet, and every bit of important data on your computer backed up (probably twice). Being prepared is part of what you do. But you weren't born knowing which safety measures to take. You learned how to provision yourself for every eventuality the hard way—by having your hard drive crash, for example, or enduring an unwanted pregnancy scare. You can't think of everything. Remember that this week, when you find yourself embarrassingly underprepared. And consider this learning experience the only real way to becoming an even more effective person.
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)
There's a lot of static between your mind and heart. Your usually piercing intellect encounters so much interference when interpreting signals from your emotional core that it's nearly useless. You suck at accurately evaluating and responding to your emotional needs in a rational way. This is why so many Aquarians are abysmal at selecting suitable romantic partners. You're slowly getting better at syncing the two impulses, but until you're an expert, you need some help. If you insist on using logic to parse your emotional urges, employ someone else's, not your own. However, I'd recommend the other route: screw logic. Let faith, hope, and fun be your guide, and whenever your pesky brain tries to interfere, tell it to get lost.
Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)
I'm glad you're learning (albeit slowly) to not shy away from confrontation, but that doesn't mean you have to face everything that comes your way by yourself. It ought to be a comfort to know that it's perfectly respectable and acceptable to seek powerful allies who can help you fight the good fight. Don't be wary of escalating the conflict by bringing other people into it. Sure, whoever you're opposing will probably try to seek out some big guns to match yours, but I guarantee that they won't be as good at it as you are. You'll win.
Aries (March 21–April 19)
Your usual modus operandi is to simply say what you mean. Beating around the bush isn't your style. For many people, though, the unadulterated truth is strong medicine; for some it's just too much to swallow. However, that doesn't mean they don't need to hear what you have to say. It just means you may have to be a bit more creative, for once, regarding how you say it. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is an excellent first step, but not that effective, since you're tougher than they are. They won't appreciate the same treatment you would. Use your brilliant imagination, darling, and practice compassion. Take yourself out of their shoes, and put the other person back in.
Taurus (April 20–May 20)
Scorpios aren't afraid of stalkers; they're used to them. Even your average Cancer finds dealing with obsessive courters no big deal. You, on the other hand, aren't quite so practiced at fending off the unreasonably persistent. No matter which beginner strategy you select to turn aside your unwanted wooer, you're quite likely to make matters worse and intensify the situation. This calls for some outside help (perhaps one of those aforementioned Scorpios or Cancers). Whether your determined stalker wants to have sex with you, convert you to his religion, or sell you a time-share, you need to ditch him, fast. Get some advice. Then follow it, without hesitation.
Gemini (May 21–June 20)
Mellow out, Gemini. You're generally not the most laid-back of people. Many of you could even be described as high-strung. So when this week's often exciting or anxiety-producing stimuli bombard you, it could be disastrous, unless you're already taking steps to chill yourself out. You really don't have time for a nervous breakdown right now. Since you can't do much to reduce the amount of stress you're being subjected to, you'd better figure out a more effective way of coping with it. Use whatever method works best for you. Remember, there's nothing wrong with a glass of red wine when yoga, deep breathing, or color therapy don't work.
Cancer (June 21–July 22)
Your plate's a bit full, wouldn't you say? Only it's heaped with tiny helpings from a number of different dishes. So whether you think something's delicious or disgusting, you only get a bite before you're on to the next thing. While there's nothing wrong with life as a tasting menu, I think you're ready for a heaping helping of just one or two delectable dishes, and none of the rest. Next week's Scorpio new moon ought to help you clear the table of all but the small handful of gorgeous flavors you want to keep putting in your mouth.
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)
You've got so many demands on your time this week, you might feel like a Virgo. But people need you right now because there are certain roles that only you can fill, and they need you to play them. No one can roar like you, for example, and when someone needs a staunchly loyal ally in a righteous battle, there's no one better. Don't let your laziness get the best of you, though. Every Leo's got a tremendous store of energy, held in reserve. However, you're often reluctant to tap it. This, my dear, would be an excellent time to do so.
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)
One of the ways Virgos get so much done is you go "on automatic." You've perfected the art of doing stuff while thinking (or planning) something totally different. Beware of this usually useful mode this week, because it's when you're likely to get into the most trouble. Your usual internal monitors, which keep you from going too far wrong, are badly calibrated at the moment, so you're likely to make big mistakes while you're not exactly paying attention. Some of them might even be irreparable, and those that can be fixed will require so much time as to be almost not worth it. In other words, pay attention to everything you're doing. Even if it cuts your usual efficiency in half, it's still better than having to do any of it again.
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)
Don't take any shit. Someone's likely to give you crap this week, just for being who you are. Whether they're putting you down based on your race, sexuality, gender, economic status, appearance, or anything else that you have little to no control over, don't stand for it. Strike back, hard. Usually you let these kinds of things slide in the interest of maintaining peace and diplomacy, but every once in a while it pays to take a stand and make idiots reconsider whether their bigotry (or at least its expression) is worth it. This week is your chance to do exactly that.