Ask An Uptight Seattleite

Dear Uptight Seattleite,

I was in the Rainbow Market the other day and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag. For my five apples, quart of organic milk, two things of pasta, and three Odwallas. Like I was going to walk out of there juggling all that stuff? So I say, "Uh, yes, please, I would like a bag, please." Figuring my $18.79 would cover that particular crime against Mother Earth. And on my way out, I hear the cashier getting scolded by another cashier. "Don't offer them a bag unless they ask." In this really cold voice, like the first cashier was one infraction away from getting shipped off to a re-education camp.

So, I guess my question is, WTF?

A Shopper

Dear Shopper,

First of all, just FYI, you need to take your empty bottles out of the plastic bag before you put it in recycling. And also, by the way, the left lane on the path around Green Lake is for pedestrians only. Just a couple of friendly little reminders. I need reminding sometimes, too. So I include myself in this. I include all of us. It's all about inclusion. Inclusion and respecting our differences. And also friendly reminders.

I sometimes give my fellow shoppers friendly reminders with a smile. Like when I'm putting my groceries into my burlap sacks, I may smile at the person behind me if he or she has not brought his or her own burlap sacks. My smile says, "Hey, I know we're all busy. I'm busy, you're busy. We're busy. But look at me: I still managed to bring my shapeless 80-gallon burlap sacks to the store. I just bet you could, too." If they ask, I can then tell them where they can get their own burlap sacks. Though that doesn't happen so often.

As for your question, I would encourage you to reread what you wrote and reflect on your attitude. I could preach, but you know what? I'm not preachy. That's not me. I find that direct communication is usually not as effective as smiling tensely.

Dear Uptight Seattleite,

I just moved to Seattle, and I'm wondering, why do you all drive Subarus?

Curious

Dear Curious,

I'm guessing you have some sort of animosity toward Japanese people and their cars. I'm not patting myself on the back here, but I do try to be open-minded about different cultures. If I go to an Asian restaurant, for example, I always use chopsticks. At Shilla, when I am eating my bi bim bop with chopsticks, I sometimes notice that some of my fellow diners are eating their bi bim bop with spoons. I smile at them and their spoons. My smile says, "Hey, great for you! Because you're branching out and trying something new, even if that might be a little uncomfortable for you. You might find that your experience of other cultures might be even more enriching if you try the chopsticks. Just a thought! Enjoy your meal!"

Another example: One time, I went to an African-American church. I must have been the only white person there. I smiled at all the African Americans to show them how much I appreciate their vibrant culture. My smile also showed them that, even though I am a white American and they may have had negative experiences with white people in the past, I wasn't like that. I think they really appreciated my attitude and that I had come to their little church to hear their vibrant singing and clapping and everything.

I recommend that experience for everyone. We all need reminding that there's more than our own little white culture. And, again, I include myself, even though I may be someone who makes, shall we say, an above-average effort to be open-minded. Like with this African-American fellow at work. Very bright, very articulate. I like to kid him that one day he'll run the place. Be the boss of us all. Because I want him to know that I'd be OK with that. Subvert the dominant paradigm, that's what I say.

Have a question for the Uptight Seattleite? Send it to uptight@seattleweekly.com. Thank you very much.