Horoscopes

Oct. 4-10, 2006

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Libras live to create balance. Some insufferably boring ones do this only superficially, balancing the equivalent of a feather and a sheet of paper. However, I also know some fascinating and inspiring Librans, who constantly challenge themselves by adding strange new elements into their internal balancing act. Both types are happy enough, but only the latter group excels at making others happy (the shallow ones don't get the concept). Wherever you reside on this spectrum, I'm betting it's possible to up the ante by adding a few more bits and bobs to your internal scales, thereby also adding to your own richness and interestingness—and this is a good week to do it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Despite your reputation for undue focus on sex, even the least evolved Scorpio understands that sex is only an important piece of a greater whole. Life without sex would suck (for most of us), but one in which sex wasn't connected to everything else might almost be worse. How is your sex life connected to the other facets of your existence? Could you draw another line or two between sex and the rest? This is a good week to try. By the way, if you need inspiration on the topic, go see a movie some friends of mine made, Shortbus, which is being released in the next couple weeks (see shortbusthemovie.com).

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

As I watch plants and trees sacrifice their leaves in order to survive the winter, responding to clues they read in the sunlight, I think of you. You're hard to define, but one adjective usually applies: You're adaptable. You become what you need to become to survive and thrive in changing situations— except when you don't. Occasionally you get frozen and stuck on one idea—a potential love affair, a moral sticking point—and you fail to adapt, with sometimes tragic consequences. Is that happening now? I think so. Let it go. Recognize that those leafy green buds won't ever blossom and shed them, finally, so you can get through the winter ahead.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

It's easy to forget, when faced with a confident and powerful Capricorn, that most of you are plagued with intense secret insecurities. (How could you not be, after what you've suffered?) You do an admirable job of surmounting them or working around them most of the time, but sometimes you're so busy denying your fears that you can't acknowledge them, let alone properly address them. That's when they limit you, and there's nothing you can do about it until you're ready to admit to them. Sometimes—like this week—that means admitting them to someone else.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Warm days in October are far more precious than those in July. Winter's imminence makes every beautiful day worth calling in sick to work for, so you can picnic in the park instead. The end of anything—a vacation romance, someone's life— imbues the last moments with powerful poignancy and richness. But that kind of intensity can be there all along. Perhaps it's just a matter of remembering that everything ends, and not waiting until it almost has. That's this week's lesson. Summer may be over, but many other things are still going strong. Can you learn to enjoy them as if they won't be around tomorrow? The irony is, the more you get out of them now (and put into them, consequently), the less likely it becomes that they'll end soon.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

I have to keep reminding myself that even though there are certain things you're not naturally good at, that doesn't mean you can't ever be good at them. Pisces are nothing if not infinitely malleable—given the proper motivation, you can become anything you wish. Sure, everyone has virtually infinite potential, but for you Fish, it's more readily accessible than for the rest of us; all you have to do is make up your mind. Of course, for you that's also a more challenging task than it is for most of us. However, should you decide to finally choose a path for yourself this week, I think you'll have an easier time selecting it than you expect. The issue's not as muddy as you think.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

This week's full moon in Aries is a perfect excuse to lose control and go wild. However, I hope you don't. You've got other, more interesting things going on. Having yet another crazy adventure would only detract from those, without ultimately adding much to your life. There's tremendous satisfaction (and much to gain) in harnessing all that insane energy of yours and putting it to use achieving a dream, rather than just having fun. Now that you've finally figured out how to attach the reins to and ride your wild nature wherever you'd like to go, it'd be a damn shame to just release it, in the name of one rowdy night. Who knows when (or if) you'd ever catch it again?

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Taurus is one of the only signs that fits men and women equally well. A Taurean's natural grace and innate dignity suits guys just as much as gals, and allows both to access strengths and sensitivities usually only possessed by the opposite gender. These qualities are most likely to come in handy this week. Forget, as much as possible, all the preprogrammed bullshit your genitals came with, and remember all the liberated wisdom you've acquired since. Be as strong, sensitive, stubborn, sweet, hard, yielding, or receptive as the situation requires. You're a Taurus, after all; you can.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

There are different leadership styles. Leos, for example, inspire with their enthusiasm, and Aries use the sheer force of their personalities. Geminis, when they find themselves in leadership roles, use humor. Making people laugh, combined with knowing what the hell you're doing (an important step some Geminis forget), can inspire fantastic loyalty. Although you tend to avoid being put in charge, sometimes you're quite simply the best person for the job, despite (or sometimes because of) your reluctance and misgivings. If you find yourself in that position of power this week or next, remember to laugh, and to help others laugh, too. If there are smiles on the faces of those around you, you're doing your job.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Young Crabs trust their gut instincts and emotional intuition. It's only as adults that you allow those clear internal messages to be obscured by your own doubts and insecurities. You get confused when your inspired impulses conflict with your fear-based worries. This week, however, should take you back to a simpler time, when what you ought to do is as clear as day. Your inspired internal muses are singing a beautiful song. You'd have to make a conscious effort to ignore them in favor of the background cacophony of your qualms and uncertainties. Some Cancers, however, will insist on doing exactly that. I hope, for your sake, that you're not one of them.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Let's review: Life is risk. Once you stop taking risks, you stop living. Taking a break from taking chances is acceptable and occasionally necessary, if not exactly desirable. And learning from the times you got burned is, of course, a good idea. But waiting for a "sure thing," something that doesn't really exist, is idiotic, especially when a very promising (if totally uncertain) possibility is right there for the grabbing. Go for it, Leo. If you can't be bothered to take a leap, then why bother trying to go anywhere at all? Just quit now and call it a life.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

When traveling, you can't learn sex talk from a foreign-language dictionary. You end up sounding like an idiot. No, if you want to learn how to talk dirty in another language, you need a local to teach you. This horoscope isn't intended to be a mini-lesson on how to flirt and get laid overseas; it's just a reminder that there are some kinds of information and help you can only properly get in one way. Going about it using half-baked methods, as you have lately, will ultimately be embarrassing, counterproductive, and a waste of time. When you need to know something this week, go to the source that'll give it to you right.

 
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