Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)
Imagine this scenario: You're alone on a hike deep in the woods, and you take a tumble, seriously gashing your leg. You apply pressure to the wound, but it's not enough to stanch the bleeding. What do you do? You apply a tourniquet, thereby limiting the flow of blood to the limb until you can get suitably patched up. Other wounds— emotional, metaphorical, spiritual—require the same treatment. You're losing copious amounts of what keeps you going. You've got to limit the resources flowing toward the wound—be it attitude, relationship, or faith. Either find a way to do that or amputate.
Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)
Aochan the rat snake's best friend is a hamster named Gohan (which means "meal" in Japanese). The odd couple resides in a Tokyo zoo. Gohan was initially placed in the snake's cage as food, but they somehow made friends instead. Thrust into Gohan's situation, I suspect you'd do the same: befriending your oppressor/predator instead of falling victim to him. It sounds impossible, but that's just the kind of magic you can wield this week. It may be scary and uncomfortable to cuddle up to someone who'd normally screw you over, but it's a lot less frightening than letting him do just that.
Aries (March 21–April 19)
I look back on the handful of Aries men I've dated with tremendous fondness; despite their imperfections, they were unfailingly exciting and romantic. I'm definitely part of the Ram fan club—that group of people who really enjoy what you have to offer. You'd forgotten we were out there, hadn't you? I'm not surprised. Admirers have been thin on the ground lately, or eclipsed by your many critics. You haven't lost your touch, though, as you'd begun to believe; you've simply lost touch with the people who get and appreciate you. Find us again, won't you? We miss you, desperately.
Taurus (April 20–May 20)
You rarely had trouble taking your medicine (actual or figurative) as a child. You pragmatically perceived the necessity and/or inevitability of what had to happen, and you just got it over with. Mostly, that willingness to swallow pride and misery has stayed with you into adulthood. Thus, it's hard for you to identify with those who flee their sorrows and hassles and long for sugar to help the medicine go down. Help them anyway, won't you? Asking them to stretch and channel your innate fortitude won't be enough, however. Unless you stretch, too—developing compassion and losing judgment of their differences—any lesson you try to offer simply won't stick.
Gemini (May 21–June 20)
If I consume caffeine after 8 p.m., I'm up 'til dawn the next morning. I've learned this the hard way, so now I'm judicious and prudent when it comes to drinking coffee, tea, or cola. You have a similar sensitivity, albeit to something slightly more esoteric—bad news, relationship drama, loneliness, horror flicks, or whatever. You're not, however, very practical about controlling your exposure to it. That's got to change—for your own well-being as well as the happiness of all those close to you. You can't control how full of shit the world is, but you can regulate how much of that harshness you experience, and when. Take charge of your negativity consumption. You'll suffer a lot less, and so will we.
Cancer (June 21–July 22)
Indulge yourself. Partake especially in all the things you enjoy that are bad for you. You're less likely than usual to suffer negative consequences from their consumption. That doesn't mean you're immune to hangovers, guilt, backlash, drama, and embarrassment this week; you're just a lot more resistant to them. You may, of course, choose to avoid this kind of trouble altogether, but I hope you don't—that'd be dead boring. If you're ever going to practice hedonistic immoderation, now is a better time than most. Get to it, and don't come back until you're completely satisfied.
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)
For days, you've turned this idea over and over in your mind; now it's roasted all the way through, like a pig on a spit, and still you're no closer to a decision or conclusion. Has it ever occurred to you that your brain just doesn't have an answer to this one? Or that it's simply incapable of answering it? Your mind is a useful tool, but it's ill-equipped to address primal stuff like sex, death, and love. When it comes to all that deep animal soul stuff, you've got to let yourself be guided by heart, gut, and loins, in whatever combination works. Stop thinking. It's getting you exactly nowhere.
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)
Your stocks are about to skyrocket. What's with the sudden surge in popularity? A whole host of people (who'd either forgotten or never realized) have just figured out what hot shit you are. Suddenly, legions of overnight fans are intent on drawing you and your indispensable fellows into their lives. I know you love to feel needed, but be careful; no one can meet this much need. Don't be overwhelmed by all those clamoring for your time and attention. Stay cool and be prudent about how far you'll go, and for whom. This is an amazing opportunity, but if you can't keep your head, you'll lose it instead.
