Crap begets crap. When South Park was chocolate salty balls–deep in its sophomore slump, Trey Parker and Matt Stone unleashed this abysmal, no-budget, live-action, NC-17 (for language . . . sigh), Mormon porn romp in 1997 (it's new to disc March 29). Luckily, both the show and the creators' cinematic efforts regained their edge big-time (see Team America: World Police), but now this DOA groaner has been reanimated—with copious extras, Easter eggs, and an alternate unrated version—to haunt us all again.
Parker stars as an innocuous missionary who, in a desperate effort to fund the wedding of his fiancée's dreams, accepts a clandestine night job as the titular porn superhero, provided he doesn't have to actually penetrate anything (cue the on-set catchphrase "stunt cock!"). The science whiz who plays Choda Boy, Orgazmo's diminutive, dildo-coiffed sidekick, develops a working version of the film's Orgazmorator ray gun (one guess how that works), and "hilarity" ensues when it's tested on a cop frisking a perp, an old lady in a walker, etc. The gags have a comparable chuckle-to-bomb ratio to the average Zucker brothers slapstick.
Luckily, Parker and Stone know it, and the extras are accordingly zany, self-deprecating, and lewd. The tandem wisely deliver their commentaries shit-faced, but an atrocious audio mix sadly renders a gonzo Weird Al Yankovic/Kevin Smith/South Park writing staff track almost entirely incomprehensible. Co-star and former Playboy Night Calls hostess Juli Ashton takes home the Unintentional Comedy award for her part in the outtakes and interviews, proving that porn doesn't require satire . . . Boogie Nights excluded.
April 19 brings Nicole Kidman's rather overlooked Birth to DVD, along with the acclaimed low-budget sci-fi picture Primer. The Chinese WWII movie Devils on the Doorstep features an intro from Steven Soderbergh. Horror buffs may dig Malevolence, while Errol Flynn fans will appreciate a five-title set from Warner Bros. including Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk. John Travolta and Scarlett Johansson star in A Love Song for Bobby Long. Zhang Yimou's House of Flying Daggers will overwhelm your TV screen. Meet the Fockers will be just as bad as in theaters. And if you want to compare Ice Cube's XXX sequel (in theaters April 29) with Vin Diesel's original, there's a director's cut of that, too.