WWJD (What Would Judy Do?)

I e-mailed you a few years back and said that I was a virgin who was wondering if my spiritual upbringing was limiting my opportunities in the dating scene.

Among other things, you advised me to learn how to make SpaghettiOs and gave me some dating tips and so on.

Well, I just wanted to update you and say that I'm still single and chaste and walking with God. I don't have much to show for in the love-life realm, but my spiritual faith is greater than ever. God is good and is looking out for me and leading me every day.

Rejoicing in Jesus

I can't find the column you're referring to, but I highly doubt I advised you or anyone else to learn how to make SpaghettiOs. In fact, without even finding the piece, I'm fairly sure I tried to convince you to learn how to make a couple meals that didn't rely on canned goods or microwave ovens. I'm also guessing I advised moving out of your mom's basement and perhaps purchasing a snazzy new outfit or two.

From the sound of things, it doesn't seem like you followed much of my advice. The God stuff is all well and good, but perhaps if you'd listened a bit more closely to the Almighty Girl of Date, you'd also be Rejoicing in Blow Jobs right about now.

Last week's was your best article in a while! Whew! That one-hit-wonder guy who wrote in claiming to have a genuine smile reminds me of those guys that say that they are funny or jokesters. I hate those people because they usually have no sense of humor. I have never met a quick-witted, funny person who stated he was funny beforehand. Never. This "genuine smile" guy is nine yards shy of being self-aware.

Tom

Thanks, Tom! I don't usually print nice things people say about me, but judging from your relieved exclamation, I guess I've really been sucking ass lately. So sorry! And yes, I hear ya regarding the self-proclaimed funny guys. They're also the ones who tell you they're looking for a lady with a sense of humor, but then get all pouty when their friends laugh harder at your jokes than they do at theirs. Heh, heh.

I am a 20-year-old female with a 1-year-old son. His father and I have been together since we were 15, until recently. I met this guy. He is wonderful and 32. My son's dad wants to do anything to stop it, anyway possible. This guy makes me happier than I have ever been, but he doesn't want the drama. I don't blame him, but how do I show him that it's not my fault my ex is crazy? Help me. I don't want to lose this one; he is perfect.

Melody

Please disabuse yourself of the notion that anyone out there is perfect. This new man may seem to be all you're looking for, but for whatever reason he's not interested, and you must respect this and move on. By chasing after him and refusing to accept his decision, you're acting like your ex.

You hooked up with Babydaddy when you were 15 and then stayed with him for five years! You have no idea what it's like to date or how many other interesting (and interested!) men might be running around out here. I realize it's tough being on your own, especially with a kid, but maybe you should figure your own life out before you worry about fitting some man into it. Besides, after being with that jackass for five years, aren't you ready for a break?

Which brings me to my next point. Your ex sounds creepy and scary, which is one reason the new guy seems so perfect in comparison. I'm sure Mr. Too-Old-for-You-Anyway realizes you're not responsible for the actions of another, he just can't be bothered. And really, who could blame him for not wanting to pin a bull's-eye to his spine? When you say your ex will "do anything to stop it," what exactly do you mean? Yikes.

Mostly I'm a little worried for you. If your ex is at all threatening, please call the counselors at New Beginnings (206-522-9472). They'll be able to help you far more competently than I can.

Need help? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

 
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