Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)
I heard that following the presidential election, hits on immigration Web sites (especially those for Canada, Australia, and New Zealand) increased exponentially. Sites offering (foreign-citizenship-conferring) marriage to Americans sprang up all over the place, as sympathizers outside of the States offered to help the disillusioned and disenfranchised escape their divided nation. Recent personal decisions you've made have parts of you running for the borders or jumping ship. It's hard being so torn, and understandable that even though you think you made the right decision, you can't help cringing about its potential consequences. Sadly, right or wrong, this one can't be undone. Forgo regret. Marshal your resources and just make the best of it.
Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)
Capricorns evidently possess an extra sense that most other people lack: ethical vision. It doesn't seem like much of a superpower, though; it actually resembles a handicap more than a boon, as it occasionally keeps you from doing things that your friends do without a second thought, like downloading pirated music or grazing the produce section at the grocery store. Fortunately or unfortunately, you're likely to encounter your own personal kryptonite this week, freeing you from the burden of always seeing such stark rights and wrongs. However, I hope you don't take up shoplifting or insurance fraud just because you can't see a victim. In these cases, there may be no obvious victim, but there still is one: you, or at least your long-term self-respect.
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)
When you were a kid, you were an expert at playing your parents off each other. Mom would say one thing, Dad another, and with a couple of strategic maneuvers on your part, you'd soon fly beneath the radar while they argued. You have a similar opportunity now—only Ma and Pa have been replaced by more current figures of authority. You could easily take advantage of the conflict that's brewing between them and reap great personal reward (if you don't care about the tricky moral issues of this kind of opportunism). Or you could stay out of it completely. Your choice. I wouldn't exercise option three (coming between them), however. You'd simply be crushed.
Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)
Help people unlearn their fear. Fear's got a tight grip on the world. It's used to steer people, like cattle, all the time—it got Bush re-elected, for example. You can help cure this epidemic of taught terror, because many Pisceans are curiously immune to it. You're afraid of things, yes, but they're almost never the things you're instructed or encouraged to fear (by parents, politicians, or the nightly news). Help those around you see how much harm and how little good their carefully inculcated anxiety is causing. It's hard to become fearless—maybe even too hard, for now—but I think it's possible to learn (and teach) the distinction between real and present dangers and unlikely, conjectural ones.
Aries (March 21–April 19)
This week you may be presented with a gift that's the equivalent of 17 stunning white ponies. There's no denying the generosity of such a gesture, but there's also no avoiding the fact that you simply can't afford to accept it. Where would you keep these beautiful beasts? In your apartment? How could you feed them or care for them? You can't even keep your houseplants alive. No matter how shell-shocked you are, don't be stupid enough to say yes. This offer is more than you can handle, and you know it. Do the right thing and say, "Thanks, but no thanks."
Taurus (April 20–May 20)
Snow is sensual, aesthetically beautiful, pure, even luxurious in some ways. You can see why some people despise it, but most Taureans love the stuff. Even the hard labor and disruption of routine it precipitates doesn't bother you like it does those lazy, heat-seeking Leos, for example. So I'm confused why the person who's recently entered your life has gotten such a bad review from you. Try to think of him or her as snow. The description certainly applies, as s/he is beautiful, limited, inconvenient, disruptive, messy, and ultimately exactly as good or bad as the weather—in other words, it all depends on your perception.
Gemini (May 21–June 20)
The moon waxes full in your sign this week, making emotions—especially those directed toward you—bigger than you're generally comfortable with. Tough. This isn't a bad thing, it's just bewildering. Embrace it, if you can, rather than resisting it. Think of this as your chance to channel and express all the melodrama and pathos of a chick flick or ancient Greek tragedy without anyone batting an eyelash, as it will all seem perfectly appropriate, even called-for. That's right, you get to be a drama queen without earning the label. Most people would jump at the chance; can't you at least give it an enthusiastic try? Sobbing, screaming, ranting and raving can be fun, satisfying activities. You'll see.
Cancer (June 21–July 22)
You're in for a refreshing break, a long stretch of calm internal oceans, with a strong, steady wind at your back. In other words, a quiet, low-key period in which you can make a surprising amount of forward progress, without the struggle that usually entails. The only danger lies in the possibility that you might fuck yourself by overcomplicating things, by suddenly adding more to your plate. Stick with the original plan, and it should all go swimmingly. Modify it now, and you could get stuck in a Bermuda Triangle of your own ambitions, and might even sink the entire ship.
