Sept. 15-21, 2004

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

No one realizes, least of all you, that you're the most popular sign in the zodiac. Along with everyone else, you probably haven't noticed just how many people you're important to (and how many are important to you). Showy Leos may get more attention; Libras have bigger networks. You, however, have the highest-quality relationships— connections that actually mean something to both parties. Despite that, you may feel quite isolated at times this week. Please take off emotional filters that require you to view yourself as a lonely victim, and notice how things (events, relationships, families, etc.) would fall apart in your absence. You matter. ('Nuff said.)

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Don't assume that your opinion matters. Given who you are and what you do, it does often carry some weight—just not universally. Sometimes, you're simply not qualified to give notes on a situation that doesn't concern you; you're just doing it out of habit. Just because it usually works out OK anyway doesn't make this a good idea. Please don't let your established expertise as a moderator delude you into getting involved when you shouldn't. If you stick your nose where it probably doesn't belong this week, it just might get bitten clean off.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

You may not have much actual money, but emotionally you're filthy rich. Compared to most other people's inner lives, you bathe in champagne and travel in a solid gold litter carried by adoring servants. So what, you say? Sadly, wealth often inspires thieves, insincere hangers-on, and pathetic emulations. This week, you're likely to have run-ins with examples of at least two of these. Try not to get pissed; it's human nature to want the unattainable. At the very least, ignore them while you walk away. If you can see your way clear to giving them a taste of your vast internal treasure, that'd be cool, too.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

Change is the key to our perception of time, especially in retrospect. Months practicing a quiet routine can seem like mere weeks when you look back at them, while a crazed fortnight can take up much more space in your memory, simply because you did (and changed) so much. Keep this curious dichotomy in mind as you consider the upcoming fork in the road: The quiet, rhythmic path will help you notice and cherish every moment, but may seem like a mere blip when you look back on it years from now; while the more adventurous road will leave you gasping for breath and wondering where the days have gone, but have you digesting memories for the rest of your life.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

You're not boring, but just like every Capricorn I've ever met, you occasionally (secretly) consider yourself the most lackluster, tedious, and square person you know. This idea wasn't born out of nothing; you do have a facet that reflects that self-perception perfectly. But it's only a small part of you. The danger (this week and in the weeks to come) is that you spend too much time manifesting and working with that one tiny, tiresome part of yourself; consequently, you may start believing it is you, not just a slice of the whole. Avoid this lame conclusion by remembering to do lots of different things that will test your versatility and flexibility, not your efficiency and responsibility.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Things feel more nailed down than they have in a year, don't they? That's because they are, for the moment. The important thing to remember is how quickly shit changes. Just last week, you were feeling like the world was your oyster, or at least rife with potential. This week, sadly, that potential is eroded and pinned under heavy weights of responsibility and fear. But those burdens can dissolve (or be resolved) nearly as swiftly as they manifested. So just sit tight. Your view to the horizon is momentarily obstructed by looming obstacles. Trust that it's still there, and so is the path to it. You just have to wait until you've rounded the next bend in the road.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

Your problems, lately, are fractal in nature. You can delve into them, but you'll just see more of the same, and more of the same again if you go even deeper—ultimately arriving at the same solution you thought of originally, only immensely more complicated by the convolutions you uncovered in the (mostly unnecessary) process. Sometimes (most of the time, even) it's good to pry and pick things apart, and arrive, eventually, at the root causes of your troubles. However, that's not the case at the moment; tracing your problems back will just return you to the starting point, only much more exhausted and freaked than when you began.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Don't start sleeping under your bed. Even though someone is doing their best to make you feel like a monster, there's no need to move in with the ones already living there, nor join company with any skeletons inhabiting your closet. I've never met an evil Aries—nor has the person who's pissed at you; they're just angry as hell, not actually convinced of your hellish intentions. You goofy Rams can fuck up, certainly and royally. You can also be insensitive, rude, and even accidentally mean. But evil—nope. When this label is chucked in your direction this week, duck; it doesn't belong to you.