Wednesday, Sept. 8
Teen queen archrival Lindsay Lohan can already boast two enormous, um, opening weekends, but at least Hil's way ahead in the brain-dead pop schlock game, conjuring equal parts Belinda Carlisle and pre-rehab Mary Kate on her hit video with sis Ashley. Their lips are sealed? O' would that it were. KeyArena, 7:30 p.m. $33.50–$45.50
Now that trip-emo quartet Denali is, sadly, toast, Keeley Davis and Jonathan Fuller can devote their foundation-shaking distortion prowess to Engine Down's (shown) post-punk suites on a full-time basis. Incidentally, if we had to break up one of our two bands, we'd keep the one with the drummer named "Cornbread," too. Crocodile Cafe, 9 p.m. $8 adv.
McCoy Tyner Trio with Bobby Hutcherson
One of jazz's most influential pianists ever, Tyner's fluid style has never wavered over the past four decades, and with the great vibes player Hutcherson joining him, this should be a scintillating stand. Dimitriou's Jazz Alley, 8 p.m. $24.50–$28.50 Also Thurs., Sept. 9–Sun., Sept. 12.
This is the second of three consecutive exclusive pop-punk bro-downs that'll be filmed for the Bremerton trio's forthcoming live DVD. Take it from someone who can be seen doing the rodeo on a Nickelback VH1 special: Quality is not a factor in any event that guarantees cinematic immortalization. Graceland, 7 p.m. $10 adv. Also Thurs. Sept. 9.
Thursday, Sept. 9
Iron Composer: Reggie Watts vs. Anna Oxygen
Both these local fixtures both have their cutesy tendencies, especially Watts, so it's not hard to imagine some mugging going on here. It's also not hard to imagine them turning this show into something interesting; ditto the Iron Composer series, which this kicks off. Crocodile Cafe, 9 p.m. $8 adv.
For a self-released full-length debut, As Small as the Center is an assured, disquietingly lush slice of electro-mope (complete with gorgeous cover art, courtesy of PCP). Maybe Mercir lay on the earnestness a bit thick at times, but the accomplished local trio compensates with somber, sparse, synth-driven dirges in the Violator vein. Chop Suey, 9 p.m. $7
The husky voiced local singer-songwriter has a modest but sturdy appeal to his modest but sturdy cache of fans, and his new Luminaria (Yep Roc) won't disappoint them. This is a CD release party. Tractor Tavern, 9 p.m. $9
Friday, Sept. 10
ABBA Cover Night
The progenitors of Swedish pop, ABBA weren't nearly as candy-sweet as non-connoisseurs believe. There's a lyrical darkness that lurks beneath their upbeat melodies (as in the stalkerish "Lay All Your Love on Me"), and tonight's cover parade—featuring members of the Turn-Ons, the Divorce, the Lashes, Hypatia Lake, and Dolour—should get at the strychnine beneath the rainbow glaze. Graceland, 8 p.m. $7
A cappella isn't inherently goofy—it can be gorgeous, scary, or sleazy. But the Bobs just happen to fall on the goofball end of the voice-only singing spectrum; the proof is in originals like "Please Let Me Be Your Third World Country" and random-ass covers (they're best known for "Helter Skelter"). If you have a date with a dork who loves parody songs, take 'em here. Triple Door, 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. $25
Lionel Hampton Orchestra with Chaka Khan
The legendary vibes player meets the legendary diva for a night that might be legendary, but will more likely just be solidly entertaining. Paramount Theatre, 8 p.m. $30–$50
SEE CD REVIEW, P. 65. Chop Suey, 9 p.m. $13 adv.
Numbers' 2002 debut, Numbers Life, was short-sharp-shock funny—28 minutes of smartly punky electro that sounded like a one-shot. Turns out it was—see the middling new In My Mind All the Time (Tigerbeat6) for an update. On the other hand, don't. Die Monitr Batss open. Paradox Theatre, 1401 N.W. Leary Way, 8 p.m. $8
Saturday, Sept. 11
The Funk Brothers + Joan Osbourne
SEE SW THIS WEEK, P. 63. Chateau St. Michelle, 14111 N.E. 145th St., Woodinville, 425-415-3300, 7 p.m. $37.50–$49.50
Morocco's best-known vocalist, Hakmoun (who now lives in New York) is a hypnotic singer and gimbri—a steel-stringed instrument—player, especially in a concert setting. Triple Door, 8 p.m. $20
Given that the Washington Post recently remarked on the paucity of girl guitar players in possession of killer chops, why not check out this all-girl Maiden tribute band and see how they handle "The Number of the Beast?" Crocodile Cafe, 9 p.m. $10 adv. Also at Fenix Underground, Tues. Sept. 14.
We know Seattle's a deep house stronghold and everything, but Watt comes here to spin so much he might as well get an apartment. (Hell, maybe he has.) That's not a complaint, though—his "A Better Man" (sung by Sanada Mattreaya, whose name used to be Terence Trent D'Arby) is one of the dance singles of the year. Chop Suey, 9 p.m. $15
Sunday, Sept. 12
My Sinatra: Cary Hoffman
Coming soon to PBS is this remarkable mimic, who sounds as close to Sinatra as anyone has. Eat your heart out, Joe Piscopo. Century Ballroom, 6 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. $25–$60
SEE FEATURE, P. 65. Eagles Hall, 805 E. Fourth Ave., Olympia, www.buyolympia.com, 6 p.m. $50–$250
Monday, Sept. 13
G.B.H. + Circle Jerks
We happen to know that several of you still watch the 1984 cult classic Repo Man, and play the accompanying soundtrack, with startling regularity, so buck up and give your consideration to this live show. "When the Shit Hits the Fan" 20 years after the fact? Well, why not? Showbox, 7 p.m. $16 adv./$18
Handful of Luvin'
A potpourri of all great bands we've loved before, each member brings his own unique sound and experience to the stage, formulating an utterly beautiful frenzy. The violinist is mesmerizing as he plays away with all the sound and fury of a regular rock star. And it doesn't hurt that the singer and songwriter is unassumingly gorgeous—maybe the sweat oozing down our face at their last show wasn't just from dancing. Fado Irish Pub, 801 First Ave., 206-264-2700, 9 p.m. NC
The Neville Brothers
Aaron's propensity for schlock hasn't done too much for their perception among under-40s, but N'awlins' first family of funk still knows how to deliver—especially with an all-encompassing retrospective on the way. Puyallup Fairgrounds, 110 Ninth Ave. S.W., Puyallup, 253-841-5045, 7 p.m. $15
Tuesday, Sept. 14
Ya gotta be at least a little cracked to open a Gibby Haynes solo gig, and the Wives are a fucking mess. Bassist Dean Spunt enunciates cracked prose like "I'm much too young to have this hair and I'm much too young to be unimportant" over minute-long geyser bursts of noise-punk. Perfecto. Chop Suey, 9 p.m. $12 adv.