Bonjour Monsieur Shlomi

It makes you sick. It also makes you want to use the 83 minutes that might otherwise be spent on this compelling soporific standing on a street corner, registering people to vote. With less than two months remaining before the fall election, it's a little late for stale outrage. It's time to trade the box office for the ballot box. (NR) BRIAN MILLER

Warriors of Heaven and Earth
Opens Fri., Sept. 10, at Metro

Legible subtitles would have helped. White subtitles don't work when nearly every scene of a film takes place in the bright light of day. Set in the barren Gobi Desert, the Chinese-made Warriors is meant to be an exciting action-adventure movie, but it fails at that and, instead, is victorious as a corny warrior fight flick. After decades of service to the Chinese emperor, Japanese emissary Lai Xi (Nakai Kiichi) misses his family back in Japan and longs for a homecoming. However, he cannot return to Japan until he fulfills one last duty: capture and execute Lieutenant Li (Jiang Wen), a renegade soldier wanted for refusing orders to murder female and child prisoners. The resulting fight scenes are quite amusing—rather than ferocious—as each warrior requires approximately 30 seconds to courageously pull out his sword and pose for the camera before fighting. This adds that unbelievably hackneyed element that we knew would come sooner or later, whether in heaven or on Earth. (R) MICHELLE REINDAL