Where Is the Love?

Record of the Year

Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z, "Crazy in Love"; Black Eyed Peas ft. Justin Timberlake, "Where Is the Love"; Coldplay, "Clocks"; Eminem, "Lose Yourself"; OutKast, "Hey Ya!"

Michaelangelo Matos: This list of nominees is actually pretty good.

Laura Cassidy: I'm gonna go with "Hey Ya!" [To Matos] You don't like that song, do you?

Matos: I don't hate it, but ...

Cassidy: You're not as enraptured as everyone else?

Matos: Yeah. It just seems very much like a standard indie-rock song—it belongs on a Frank Black solo album.

Andrew Bonazelli: But to everyone else, that song is universal. So was "Lose Yourself"—not one person doesn't know that song. But "Hey Ya!" seemed to galvanize everyone.

Matos: I would not be surprised if Coldplay won.

Cassidy: In that category?!

Matos: I'm not talking about in terms of my own taste, although I like that song. I'm talking about maybe the rap vote will get split by four records and the rock thing wins.

Bonazelli: Wait, wasn't it last year they proved they weren't square?

Matos: I think they've been proving they aren't square for a while now. Without question, the nominees have gotten better in the last few years. They're never gonna nominate everything I like, but that's not their function. There will be no German Minimalist Techno category, which is fine.

Album of the Year

Missy Elliott, Under Construction; Evanescence, Fallen; OutKast, Speakerboxxx/ The Love Below; Justin Timberlake, Justified; the White Stripes, Elephant

Bonazelli: How did Elephant get nominated so much? Two for two— that's insane.

Matos: No, you're thinking of the Black Eyed Peas' album, Elephunk. Different title.

Bonazelli: Keep drinkin'!

Cassidy: Bartender! [To Matos]

Bonazelli: This category, there's no shot that Evanescence win. There's no shot that Missy wins, because that seems too much like a 2002 album.

Matos: Elephant I don't think has a shot at it, although that would be a really interesting upset. But I think it'll be either Justin or OutKast.

Bonazelli: I'd say OutKast. Justin's album isn't that consistent.

Cassidy: But the OutKast album is a little bit complicated—it's so immense. And that's in its favor, I think.

Bonazelli: More so than Justin—I mean, MJ 2003.

Matos: Partly, it's just more that people are, like, "I really love one disc or the other." What's surprised me is that it is one or the other. It's not just the Andre 3000 record. I've seen just as many people who say they like the Big Boi record more.

Bonazelli: Everybody wants to cut out the filler in that album and make their ideal single album out of that. No other album generates that much discussion.

Song of the Year

Linda Perry, "Beautiful" (Christina Aguilera, performer); Richard Marx and Luther Vandross, "Dance With My Father" (Vandross); Avril Lavigne and the Matrix, "I'm With You" (Lavigne); Jorge Calderón and Warren Zevon, "Keep Me in Your Heart" (Zevon); J. Bass, M. Mathers, and L. Resto, "Lose Yourself" (Eminem)

Matos: [Reading nominees list] ... Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" ...

Bonazelli: [Fart noise]

Matos: I like that song.

Cassidy: [Groans]

Bonazelli: That song's affirming, right? The hot chick telling you that it's OK to be ugly?

Cassidy: Hot chick?!

Bonazelli: Like, Maxim hot.

Cassidy: We'll talk about that later.

Matos: Let's talk about it now.

Cassidy: Christina Aguilera is so disgusting.

Bonazelli: To you. I'm saying Maxim hot. As a heterosexual male, I find her disgusting. But I'm saying up here in chicken-wing land, in Maxim-reader land, she's considered hot. Linda Perry—I didn't even know she wrote that song. That's amazing. It must be a lot of work, huh?

Matos: Actually, I don't remember the Avril song—is that a ballad?

Bonazelli: Yeah, it's a power ballad.

Matos: So what they mean is Power Ballad of the Year. Because "Lose Yourself" is a power ballad.

Bonazelli: "Lose Yourself" is the most memorable just by virtue of the fact that the competition is dreadful. Well, I mean, not dreadful but ...

Matos: I'd say it's dreadful. I mean, if you're talking about the best-written song of the year and you come up with that list, your priorities are fucked.

Bonazelli: "Lose Yourself" is one of Eminem's most poorly written songs. The lyrics are—I hate songs or lyrics that are intentionally inspiring or motivating.

Cassidy: I wouldn't be surprised if that Luther Vandross song [wins], because of that intentional sentimentality.

Matos: That's Vandross' stock in trade, but you've got to figure he's in the hospital, he's in a coma, and then Warren Zevon is actually dead, so that's pretty stiff competition.

Cassidy: Repeat that for the tape recorder?

Matos: No pun intended.

Best New Artist

Evanescence, 50 Cent, Fountains of Wayne, Heather Headley, Sean Paul

Cassidy: 50 Cent!

Matos: Fountains of Wayne are, like, on their third album.

Cassidy: How is that a new act?

Bonazelli: They have a song on the radio finally.

Cassidy: 50.

Matos: 50. [Pause] I don't know, though, because Evanescence has an Album of the Year nod. They're just gonna get shut out of every category that isn't rock.

Bonazelli: I would hope so. It's like they're gonna be the modern-rock rep in all of these.