I realize that you've probably gotten hundreds of e-mails complaining about how you presented men in your column [Dategirl, July 9]. Now, in all fairness, a lot of guys are afraid to commit, and many men (just like many women) are complete idiots. These aren't the only people you should present in your column. I realize, also, that your column is essentially a humor column and should be taken with a grain of salt, but I think this one was truly unfair. Some men are completely unafraid to commit. And some women hate the thought of commitment (many of whom I seem to wind up dating). All I'm asking is that you keep an open mind in your column and don't stereotype on the basis of gender.
Listen, sweetcheeks, I can only print what people send me. It's not like I sit here filtering out the normal, well-adjusted guys' responses in favor of the narcissistic half-wits' in order to prove some harebrained hypothesis of mine. What you saw was what I had to work with. Sad, isn't it?
I assure you I realize that jackassitis is a non-gender-specific affliction.
I am embarrassed and disgusted by the responses you got to the question of why men won't commit [Dategirl, July 16]. All I saw were a bunch of boys who need to grow up. I was in a committed relationship for 25 years until she decided that other activities were more important than giving affection and spending time with me. I would happily enter another long-term, exclusive relationship if I found the right woman. I don't think the average man or woman is looking for anything different. They just want a person that they can trust and rely on for friendship and good companygood sex is just a bonus.
Thanks for saying what I was thinking. Somehow it sounds better (and less bitter) coming from a man.
Sifting through the prison missives, naked photos, and nasty insults that make up the bulk of the Dategirl mailbag can make a girl a tad cynical. I've printed the above letters to prove that there are intelligent, non-scaredy-cat men out there. Jim and Joe, the ladies of Seattle salute you!
I have a gender-neutral theory as to why relationships fail: Everyone is looking for someone more attractive than him/ herself. Therefore, no one ever gets together. What do you think?
What do you think I'm thinking? I'm thinking you're foolish, naturally. People get together all the timeugly people, cute people, dwarves, amputees, supermodels. There'll be no salutes for you, Jerry.
I'm interested in following up on some recent advice of yours [Dategirl, May 7]. You responded to a reader who was asking about a woman's sensation from male ejaculation. You seemed to say that ladies may not feel pulses of semen deep in their vaginal cavities because most of the nerve endings are located toward the front. That was a revelation to me, as I'd always assumed that the deeper the thrust of a guy's penis, the better intercourse is for a woman.
Is it better to back my rod out at the last moment and climax closer to the opening of my lady's wonderful box? Will that give her a bigger thrill?
No. That would just be weird, awkward, and frustrating. Though it's fairly difficult to actually feel the semen coming out, the upper part of the vagina is sensitive to pressure, which is key. We may not feel the ejaculate, but when a guy comes, certain changes occur: He generally picks up the pace; he may grunt; he gets a silly (yet somehow still hot) expression on his face; he starts to go deeper, harder, faster. . . .
Erm, yeah. So unless your girly tells you different, keep doing what you're doing.
And youyou get a salute. And a wink. Hell, maybe even a kiss blown your way.
Kiss and tell. Write Dategirl at firstname.lastname@example.org or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western, Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.