Good Girls and Bad Ronald

I've met up with only three guys from the I'net, one of which I really liked. We got intimate, then, when I asked him whether he would continue to scout girls on the Internet, his exact words were, "It would be stupid to 'settle' for the first girl I met on the Internet." He said "settle," Dategirl!

No matter what I'm doing now, I'll be, like, shopping and I'll pick up a DiGiorno pizza and think, "Do I really want to 'settle' on this for dinner?" and then I'll get stuck on that word and it rings in my head over and over again. Like a stupidhead, I continued to "date" the guy, only to find that his schedule was amazingly full. He could squeeze me in once about every two weeks, and we always had a great time, but I got the distinct impression that he was having a great time with all of the girls in Seattle. He can't even keep our voices straight. One of them will call him and leave a message, and he'll call me back. Is it the venue of I'net dating, or is it that most men have absolutely no reason to commit these days? Dating is sucking the life out of me. I cannot imagine going through that again.

How do you cope? Sheesh!

Hmm. Perhaps next time you see him, you can "settle" for jamming a fork through his wandering eyeball. I feel your pain, my sister! In fact, I'm thinking we might've gone out with the same guy. My studmonkey was handsome and seemed so sweet. Even though mutual friends warned me he was an unrepentant scammer, I was apparently rendered brain-dead by his pretty face and lean, lickable body. I believe they call that thinking with your twat.

Anyway, like with you, I ended up feeling tired and crappy about myself, so I told him to go away. I find that taking the occasional break is the best idea. Otherwise you find yourself hollering at every man who crosses your path, and you quit trusting anyone with a penis. So give yourself a dater breakhang out with your girls, rent movies, bitch and moan, and then give it another go. They're not all bad. Sometimes it just seems that way.

Last month I intended to send you hate mail after you made a disparaging remark about Ohio: "Even if the unthinkable happens and you never get laid again, at least you won't be in Ohio" [Dategirl, May 21]. While you can often be witty or informative, this statement was neither. There is nothing wrong with being in Ohio. My guess is that you haven't spent any real time there. In the years that I've lived in Seattle, I've never had sex as good as Ohio sex. So you can see why your comments upset me and why I intended to hate you forever.

But then you mentioned Bad Ronaldone of my favorite movies (although it's technically a made-for-TV movie) [Dategirl, April 2]. So now I must thank you for mentioning Bad Ronald to your readers. I'm always eager to tell others of how great this flick is, but I think people (specifically, women) are put off by guys who like a film about a kid who accidentally kills a girl and then spends his days hidden in a secret room, spying on another young girl via peepholes.

Your column has given me faith that I one day might encounter some other female Bad Ronald fans.

Looky here, I'm from New Jersey. My motherland is a national joke. If I were to get myself all worked up into a tizzy every time someone poked fun at the Garden State, I'd be yelling my head off 24/7.

And sure, I'm sorry you hate me for this, but look around youyou left Ohio, didn't you? I have plenty of friends from the Buckeye State. Note the word "from." They left, too. I've been there. I found the place vaguely charming but can't say I really get the point of living there. And of course they have awesome sex therewhat the hell else is there to do?

As for women being put off by Bad Ronald, you obviously have to start dating a heartier breed of dame.

Don't just bitch and moan: Write Dategirl at dategirl@ seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western, Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

 
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