A Taste of Honey

Please do not start another cycle of prison love letters! Your loyal readers should not be so abused. Prison love letters drive a loyal reader to begin doing spiritual rituals on your behalf. Perhaps that sounds goodbut FYI, nearly all such outfits accepting spiritual rituals slap down gooey sexual abstinence onto the slippery slope sliders of poor-me victims as the cure (even self-indulgence is not allowed). It's a horrible cycleyou'll be driven to meeting weirdos at phone booths.

How the hell does that one reader figure you're some sort of flower of great beauty and fragrance [Dategirl, May 14]?? Did I miss the scratch and sniff? Where was the swimsuit photo posted?

While we are on the sniff subjectwhy do women, after doing the heavy make-out scene in the kitchen, suggest moving to the bedroom and then on the way stop and peeand then they stink like pee? Or, even worse, get out of the shower, dry off, entice lover, and then stop and pee before hitting the sheets? Does anybody else hate the smell of pee? I have heard of those that get off on golden showers in phone booths with strangers, but that ain't my style. (For the record, I wash my penis with soap in the same situation, and it sure makes a difference in getting unasked-for blow jobs.)

Eric

Hi Eric!

Are you suggesting that I might not be a flower of great beauty and fragrance? Because it sure sounds like that's what you're implying! Let me assure you that I am both lovely and sweet-smelling in a most delightful way. There was no photo posted and no scratch and sniffthat particular letter writer was just insightful enough to read between the lines and see the wonder that is the Girl of Date! Harumph.

I will also ignore your slam on my prisoner fan club. That is, unless any felons write in asking for your home address. Rest assured that if that becomes the case, I will forward it to them with great haste.

But other than thatgood question! I like that it has the added bonus of giving us gals something new and different to be paranoid about.

Why anyone would take a whiz after they get out of the shower and not while they're in there is beyond me. Even Madonna fessed up to being a shower pee-er. I don't know about other ladies, but I try to remember to give myself a wet wipe after pre-sex bladder drainage. I also take the opportunity to inspect for stray toilet-paper ornaments that might've attached themselves to the bush. But that's just sometimes. Other times I'm so fired up that I forget the niceties and leap on my man all skanky-assed and probably reeking of urine! But your question means I'll never do that again. I'm going to be examining my business with a hand mirror, and I'll definitely be picking up some baby wipes on the way home today. Never again will some poor sap get stuck tasting my sweet kidney-wine (unless he asks specifically for a sip). The men in my life thank you.

But since we're talking cleanliness, here's what bugs methe guys who leap up right after sex and wash their junk. Or they go for the immediate post-sex shower. You hear the water running, and they saunter back all stanking of Ivory soap. That really bums me out. What's wrong with wallowing in your own gnarly fuck juice for a while?

The following letter writer wrote in response to a column on women's feelings about ejaculation (Dategirl, May 7).

You gotta keep in mind the change in thrusting techniques and intensity right before a guy comes that creates more pleasure, and the throbbing of the cock upon, during, and immediately after ejaculation that creates added pleasure for the female.

Pleased Patty

Mmmmmm, throbbing cocks. I remember them. . . . You're so right. I got the impression (perhaps erroneously) that the guy who wrote me was wondering about semen in particular, but thanks for adding your two cents.

Need insight? Write Dategirl at dategirl@ seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western, Ste. 300, Seattle,WA 98104.

 
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