Neil Cooler
As the Big Bopper, Bon Scott, and Dee Dee Ramone could all tell youbut won't, cuz they're deadthe life of a rock star is some dangerous business. Not even counting your run-of-the-mill vehicle crashes, alcohol poisonings, and drug overdoses, musicians have to contend with all kinds of potentially deadly mishaps in everyday life. Just look at poor Har Mar with his nasty case of shingles, or that guy from CKY who broke his tailbone running down stairs to sign autographs. Now comes the news that Mr. Ted Leowhose Hearts of Oak on Lookout! is one of our favorite records so far this yearwon't appear with the Pharmacists this Wednesday at Graceland because his freakin larynx collapsed. At a show last week in Urbana, Ill., the singer's throat "just caved" about 20 seconds into "The Ballad of the Sin Eater." But Ted, bless his heart, staggered through the rest of the set because, as he put it on his Web site, "This is punk rock, not Dave Fucking Matthews, right?" Indeed. On the advice of his doctor, he canceled the remainder of the tour and headed home to New Jersey to rest up, and will restart in late May, M.D. permitting. Sure, it's no collapsed lung (à la Tim from Cursive), but the idea of any body part "caving" is enough to make us go live in one of those bubbles full of foam packing peanuts for the rest of our mortal days. . . . We probably could have used a little foam for our ears at last Friday's Rapture show, which was very good, but somehow not great. Was it the crush of high expectations that left us feeling let down, or was the band just having an off night? We're not sure. We do know they played the hits, and the crowd was mostly down for it, but it seemed to be missing a little bit of what the French call that certain I-don't-know-what. Meanwhile, the Adult. show on Saturday at Chop Suey left a much better taste in our mouth than the band's slightly underwhelming record didlive, husband-and-wife team Nicola Kuperus and Adam Lee Miller sassed all over the stage in their military (or were they postal worker?) button-downs and tight pants, Adam busting the dirty Detroit beats and Nicola snarling her vocals like Johnny Rotten was her godfather. Cute, and the crowd ate it up with a spork. . . . A little birdie tells us the Von Bondies, a.k.a. the White Stripes' BFFs and former tourmates, are hard at work on the follow-up to last year's Lack of Communication. They're currently holed up in Northern California with producer Jerry Harrison, ex-Talking Head and Modern Lover, and aiming for a fall release. . . . Not only does Pink have a part in the new Charlie's Angels sequel coming out this summer, she also sings a song called "Feel Good Time" for the soundtrack, written by Mr. Feel Good himself, Beck, and produced by dance music maestro/friend of Madonna William Orbit. It's sort of hard to picture Pink doing anything with Beck other than kicking his ass, just because she could, but we'll see. . . . Three's a crowd, apparently, for Low. The Minnesota slow-core trio officially became a duo when bassist Zak Sally left the band recently after almost eight years. Guitarist Alan Sparkhawk insists it was neither infighting nor artistic differences, merely that Zak "just didn't want to do this forever." . . . The Second Stage lineup for Lollapalooza has been announced, and it's, well, eclectic. You've got your angry metal (Cold), your wasabi-snorting Jackass (Steve-O), your New York cool kids (The Mooney Suzuki), your underground hip-hop legend (Pharoahe Monch), and your we're-only-here-cuz-we've-got-Jared-Leto dark-rock (30 Seconds to Mars), plus selected local acts in every city. Prepare yourself accordingly. . . . Keeping up with their solemn pledge to sign only bands of the "The Ss" variety, Vice Records just brought jangly, new-wavey New Yorkers the Stills on board to join 2002's much-acclaimed release from the Streets. Look for an EP in June and a full-length by September. . . . Speaking of the Streets, pasty, clever Brit Mike Skinner, who is the band, recently told Muzik magazine he's thinking about going into acting, Eminem-style. Then again, he's quite the kidder, so don't get too hyped up for 8 Kilometer. . . . Did anyone else crack up over those headlines last week saying "SARS Keeps Anthrax Out of Toronto" when the band canceled its shows? Ah, fatal-nerve-agent humor. Anywaywe hear both Canadian pop-punk champs Sum 41 and Matrix master Keanu Reeves will appear in the upcoming video for the Anthrax single "Safe Home." We can't find anyone, however, to tell us why. . . . Also getting special guest stars are the Norwegian metalmaniacs Turbonegro, who have convinced the fine men of Jackass to appear in the upcoming Spike Jonze-directed video for their song "Scandinavian Leather." . . . DOON was given a tour last week of the Fenix Underground (a victim, you may recall, of the 2001 earthquake) in its mammoth new location in Pioneer Square, and we were properly amazed. The place is massive, divided into three separate parts, and full of all kinds of fun technology, like projecting video screens, sliding walls, and semitransparent color-gel panels at every barall pretty un-Seattle-like. There's an invite-only opening party Thursday, May 15, with the common folk welcome the day after, and we wish the place only the best luck, with no seismic activity.
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