Whine, Women, & (more) Wieners

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Whine, Women, & (more) Wieners

  • Whine, Women, & (more) Wieners

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    I am in a six-month-long relationship. I'm very fond of my boyfriend but don't see myself falling in love with him. He's kind and caring, but is not smart enough. The problem is I can't bring myself to tell him this. Every time I become convinced I need to be honest and end it, the sex steps up another level. It just keeps getting better. Do I stay with him and hope that sex will equal love?

    Like a Man

    Check you outkeeping a fine (yet stupid) piece of ass around just because he's good in the sack?!? Slut! Tramp! All of us here at Dategirl HQ are equal parts shocked and horrified! I can't imagine what it's like to do a dumb guy! Oh, lookI just blew Diet Coke out my nose!

    What you have is a nonproblem. Unless dum-dum's itching for a wedding ring or you're hell-bent on procreation and the clock's ticking, I say keep Studmonkey around for as long as you can stand it. Good sex is a rare and beautiful thing. (Well, from what I remember of it. . . . )

    But sadly, sex, no matter how awe- inspiring, won't make anyone smarter (in fact, I've found the converse to be true), so kiss that dream buh-bye. I don't see much of a future with half-wit, but I predict a very pleasurable present, and isn't that enough? When you grow weary of the situation (and you will), be kind. Even the dullest knife in the drawer doesn't want to hear that's why he's being relegated to the trash heap.

    I've sort of gotten back together with my ex. She's engaged, but we've been dating. Now she's breaking up with the fiancÚČáand I'm not happy about it. It was more fun when she was engaged. She says their breakup has nothing to do with me, but I don't know if I believe her. What do I do?

    Worried

    See what you get when you stick your greedy little fingers into some other guy's hair pie? Serves you right! Kidding. But really, what are you, nuts? Run like the wind! Sure, there's always the (slim) possibility that the breakup doesn't have anything to do with you, but c'mon. Better are the chances that it has everything to do with you. Women lie about crap like this all the time. It's not malicious; she's probably trying to convince herself of it as well.

    So you can either do as I advised and get the hell outta Dodge, or you can keep on seeing her, all the while repeating over and over again that you are not going to be her boyfriend once she's free. (I predict wedding bells within the year.)

    The following is what I promise is the absolute last you will ever hear about the great foreskin/condom debate:

    A little research goes a long way, dear. Call an educator at the STD clinic and here is what they will tell you: After the uncircumcised member is fully hard, be sure to pull the foreskin back all the way before putting on the condom. And do not use extra-roomy or extra-sensation styles with an uncut man. If the foreskin is pulled all the way back, then the condom holds it out of the way and no slippage should occur. If the foreskin is partly covering the corona or glans, it will catch in the condom and cause slippage and discomfort. Okiedokie?

    I could've done without the snark, but he's right. Here's another, but of the "too much information" variety:

    I recommend using condoms that aren't lubed on the inside, and skip the ones with a reservoir and try a slender, tighter condom. For fun, you can take a nylon stocking, drape it over your lover's fully erect cock, make one wrap around the base, and then take the ends and tie them around his waist. You can experiment here. Tighten just enough to hold back his skin so that the head of the cock stays exposed. Now, put the condom on. Pussy needs to be very slippery, and slow strokes are necessary because the sensitive head feels continuously exposed even with a condom.

    Need "professional" help? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western, Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

     
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