As we write this, DOON has only seven short days to take bets on how, why, and when Cat Power will leave in the stage in a fit of anger and/or veil of tears at her April 22 Showbox show. In the meantime, we will be excessively enjoying the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs record (actually worth the hype, sweet hallelujah); checking in periodically with our bookie re: Miss Chan Marshall; and drinking all kinds of electrolyte-heavy sports drinks in preparation for all the superexciting shows heading our way in the next week. Thursday is a toss-up for Legend Who Was Rocking It When You Were Just a Peanut between Afrika Bambaata at the Baltic Room and Nikki Sudden at the Croc; Friday and Saturday belongs to the intergalactic Godspell rock of Polyphonic Spree's two- night stand at Graceland; Sunday and Monday are for rehydration and recovery; Tuesday is for the aforementioned Power of Cat or the much hardier Kills back at ye olde Graceland; and Wednesday tops off with the death-disco sex-travaganza that is Fischerspooner. Alas, unspecified "injuries" sustained by Kelly Osbourne will keep Seattle from seeing her opener, the heaven-in-Hanes-briefs Har Mar Superstar, and rescheduling may be tough; HMS told Showbox booker Chad Queirolo he'll be living in London for the summer and has even booked a regular weekly gig on the insane Spanish party island of Ibiza. Has he already forgotten the little people? . . . Oh, and last week was no chopped liver,either: Chop Suey celebrated its one-year anniversary in style last Thursday with free-flowing booze, vegan pot stickers, and bands like the Divorce, Hint Hint, and Metro Area. We congratulate this awesome venue, and caution others to avoid the kind of sexy face-plant entrance DOON executed by watching the club's new multilevel floors, which are great for sight lines to the stage but hell on high heels. The next night, Hella brought their two-man mathrock army to Graceland along with the sweeter, gentler Aisler's Set, but it was
Zak's, hosting the Popular Shapes and (again!) Hint Hint that made our night: an already excellent show brought to new heights by the spastically happy man in tie-dye shaking his bonbon and then some all over the stage. Not as exciting, it's true, as the previous week's guest Sexually Active Corpse, a sort of gay, electro GG Allin tribute in which a nice young man took off his pants, shaved his pubes, put them in a pipe, and smoked them. Nice. Meanwhile, across town, Andrew Bonazelli reported back to the mothership on Rocket From the Crypt: "Witching-hour zombie costume ball at the Showbox late Saturday night? Nope, just S-Town's beloved Spits, mummified in nun and priest garb, living up to their quarrelsome moniker by berating less-than-groovin' ladies in front. RFTC followed with full-throttle back-in-black gusto, igniting a three-quarters-dance, one-quarter-mosh(?!) freakout that culminated with at least one Weekly writer who ought not go topless in public, um, quasi-topless." . . . Lest you think we have too much time on our hands, that is not some Photoshop mock-up of Lou Reed going all Han Solo with the samurai sword; he actually does appear on the cover of Kung Fu magazine for May/June 2003, alongside articles like "Tai Chi Skiing: The Dance of the Cosmos" and a Kung Fu horoscope. Please, run, don't walk, to your nearest newsstand. . . . Speaking of kooky magazines, if you've been wondering what else Vice is up to besides spreading enormous breasts across its cover and putting Salman Rushdie on its Dos page, here's your answer: the Vice record label, which produced the Streets, now has its own imprint, Wolfgang Modern, set to release a comp in early June called YES New York featuring the Rapture, the Walkmen, Radio 4, Ted Leo/Pharmacists, Interpol, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Longwave, and more, plus a live version of the Strokes doing "New York City Cops" somewhere in Iceland. The title is a tribute to the 1978 Brian Eno-produced
compilation NO New York, with tracks by the likes of the Jerks and DNA. . . . Also working on a nice little collection: Morissey, busy putting together a record for the same people who produced the successful Back to Mine series, featuring artists like the Orb and Everything but the Girl. The new series on Ultra Records is called Under the Influence, which means Mozzer gets to pick artists like Patti Smith, the New York Dolls, T-Rex, and Nico for a 15-track record of the stuff that inspired him. Next up? The Stone Roses' Ian Brown . . . . Did you all know that the hair-bear classic Heavy Metal Parking Lot is now streamable online? We didn't, but it just gets better with age, so check it at www.planetkrulik.com/hmpl.htm.
Send news flashes, sightings, and bitchy bits to firstname.lastname@example.org.