Rhymes with Seltzer

A A A Comments By Richard Meltzer Wednesday, Feb 5 2003

SANDY SPEISER © SONY MUSIC ARCHIVES

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Effective Feb. 10, 2003, Rock & Roll Hall of Famers Blue Oyster Cult will be certified as a smoke-free environment. Under this procedure, smoking will be prohibited at all times within 250 yards of the band, its equipment, transport vehicles (both owned and rented), and personal residences, hotel/motel rooms, inns, and guest houses.

In the words of manager Mike Roberts: "Our commitment to the health and well-being of all band members, paid subordinates, and our many hundreds of fans, coupled with information resulting from recent studies by the Environmental Protection Agency regarding the dangers of second-hand smoke, has caused us to initiate this policy.

"For those in our employ who are eligible and do smoke, our Managed Care, Traditional Care, and Basic Care medical plans will cover the costs of treatment for nicotine dependency when accompanied by a doctor's prescription. The plans cover Habitrol, Nicotrol-NS, Pro-Step, Addicto-Ban, and CigaNo. The Managed Care Plan also covers smoking cessation and diversion programs when referral is made by a primary care physician. For those enrolled in a Health Maintenance Organization (HMO), please check directly to see which programs and/or pharmaceuticals are covered."

Say . . . whoa! I smell COERCION! Have another band's rights been usurped . . . snatched . . . taken away? Coercion and collusion—but by WHOM? Management? . . . Record co.? . . . Media cartels? Dunno . . . hmmm ('s my-t-scary).

Hey: The show on the 7th is three days before the ban takes effect. Why not catch the Cult and blow some "rings" in their mgr.'s oppressor face? He'll be staying at the Shad-Mar Motel in Puyallup, by the by—if you miss the gig, that's where he'll be at. Have a talk w/ Mike and show him how YOU feel about smoke—both second-hand and FIRST.

Smoke-free environment . . . pshaw. Next thing they'll tell us is our fav'rite band can't have a beer . . . and neither can we!

Blue Oyster Cult play the Temple Theater in Tacoma. 8 p.m. Fri., Feb. 7. $22.50.

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