Lest you think us shallow and uncaring, we are still very much concerned with peace in the Middle East, food not bombs, and all that other good stuff. But Christ on a crutch, the news that Britney Spears and Fred Durst are hitting it has blown nearly every other coherent thought right out of our little peanut brains. Says the Limpest Bizkit of his lady love: “Anybody out there who has a serious problem with my feelings for Britney should just chill and worry about your own feelings for a minute. You can’t help what happens in life because everything happens for a reason. . . . It [sic] just happens to be a person that I would have thought could make me feel this way. And believe that I have never felt this way, so there.” But what, we know you’re asking yourself, does this mean for the Bizkit’s artistic endeavors? Fret not, says Fred: “If you think I’m going soft, then you go ahead and think it until we drop this sick fucking album in a few months,” he notes, referring to the band’s forthcoming album, Less Is More. Ah, yes. Though Britney has reportedly added ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake back into the mix (good god, not simultaneously?), she and Durst have been spotted whooping it up all week together at the Sundance Film Festival. Like we needed any more signs of the impending apocalypse. . . . As quoth that great sage Moby, “People, they come together; people, they fall apart”: Quirky D.C. emo-punkers Dismemberment Plan have decided to, well, dismember after nearly a decade. There are still plans for a remix album on DeSoto, and according to bassist Eric Axelson, the band plans to “continue playing the shows we’ve booked this winter, and I’d assume a few more will be added this spring. We’re seriously considering a last tour of the States in the early summer and maybe something overseas this summer if we can work that out.” But why, Eric, Why? “We really don’t know if we can answer that anytime soon,” he states on the band’s Web site, “or ever, for

that matter. The best answer we can come up with is that we felt like we’d accomplished all we could as a songwriting and record-making unit, and that we wanted—as individuals—to try things that can be precluded by living the lifestyle of the touring musician.” And so it goes. . . . Lest you think all of Billy Corgan’s time is taken by his new “supergroup,” Zwan, think again. He’s actually been spending some quality time in the studio with—drumroll please—Lisa Marie Presley. No shit. He co-writes and performs on a number from her upcoming Capitol Records debut, and as Presley says of her partner in rhyme, “He’s good at dark. This is dark, but the two of us combined with the dark writing thing, it was like, ‘OK, somebody just shoot me right in the head.’ So it had to be taken up a bit so it would not make you want to kill yourself if you heard it.” Oh, we’ll be the judge of that, Lisa Marie. . . . You may have heard the news that Chop Suey has changed hands, but don’t fret, little clubbies; new owner Chris Dasef (Belltown Billiards), who takes the reins from Linda Derschang, Wade Weigel, and Jeff Ofelt (Linda’s, the Baltic Room, Cha Cha Lounge, Bimbo’s, Rudy’s Barbershops, and more), says he plans to keep things pretty much as they are. Last week, booker Steve Severin told us, “At first I was a little concerned, but after meeting and talking with everyone, I think it’s pretty cool. [Dasef] really doesn’t want to change anything. He thinks it’s great as it is.” That greatness will include upcoming shows with the likes of Ladytron, Royksopp, and Kid Koala. . . . Wherefore Elliot Smith? The troubled but supremely talented singer-songwriter is emerging from wherever he’s been hiding to play two shows in N.Y.C. this week, then two shows in L.A. the following week, if you’ve got the spare change. He showed up unannounced for a “Clean Needles Now” benefit in Los Angeles recently and told the audience that he has plans for a double album in the near future, though

rumors of Smith’s chemical dependency still abound. . . . Speaking of spare change, you might want to think about making the trip down to lovely, foggy San Francisco for this year’s edition of the Noise Pop Festival, which has now teamed up with Experience Music Project, though we’re not sure what that means exactly, practicalwise. Confirmed acts for the Feb. 25-March 2 event include Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, the Donnas, Catpower, Tortoise, Calexico, Folk Implosion, and (kooky!) a reunited Camper Van Beethoven, as well as lots of Northwest bands you already know and love. . . . Eighties college-rock royalty Throwing Muses are back together and releasing another self-titled record next month on 4AD, their first new work since 1996. They’ll be touring Europe with their original Tanya ‘n’ Kristin lineup and playing a limited number of U.S. dates to be announced soon. . . . Also almost ready for the front display at Tower: the White Stripes, who on April 15 will release their follow-up to the justifiably adored White Blood Cells, the oddly titled Elephant (could that refer to the album’s expectations or Jack White’s ego? We know not). . . . After a little late-year lull, bookings are finally picking up again around town, and we can’t hardly wait, so look for lots of show reviews and other juicy backstage bits in the coming weeks. Or better yet, get off your lazy patootie and join us in supporting our local scene—if you tell us how much you love and adore DOON (bald-faced lies are A-OK with us), we may even buy you a drink.

Send news flashes, sightings, and bitchy bits to nights@seattleweekly.com.