SANTA PHOTO COTTAGE
If you haven’t read David Sedaris’ uproarious essay “The Santaland Diaries,” you may still harbor feelings of sentimentality toward shopping-mall Santas. Record “a special moment with Santa” thanks to modern photographic technology. Free. Through Dec. 24. 575 Bellevue Square, 425-460-5932. BELLEVUE
VOICES OF CHRISTMAS
This theatrical experience allegedly involves music and merriment, not to mention multicultural musings and many moving moments. $24 ($10 for those under 25). Through Dec. 24. 4711 California Ave. S.W., 206-938-0339. WEST SEATTLE
FIELD OF LIGHTS CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION
“Celebrate the magic of electric imagination” at Safeco Field, where “half a million lights and numerous light exhibits” will make things positively luminescent for you and your darling children. Crafts, music, and sundry “goodies” await you at the home of our perpetually lachrymose baseball team. $5 ($3 for children). 4-9 p.m. Fri.-Sun., Through Dec. 29. 83 King Street, 206- 346-4000. DOWNTOWN
ISSAQUAH REINDEER FESTIVAL
Once you’ve looked a reindeer in the eye, there’s no turning back. Adopt one at the Issaquah Reindeer Festival, a celebration of all things antlered, shaggy, and enslaved by Santa. $7-$8. Through Dec. 23. Cougar Mountain Zoo, 19525 S.E. 54th St., 425-392-6278. ISSAQUAH
ARGOSY CHRISTMAS SHIP FESTIVAL
True to the first three letters of its name, Seattle is a sea-crazy town, and the Christmas season presents us with a special opportunity to enjoy “the largest holiday flotilla in the world.” $16-$28. Through Dec. 23. Pier 55, Suite 201, 206-623-1445. www.argosycruises.com DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
TWELVE DRINKS OF CHRISTMAS
The true meaning of Christmas: Brandy-soaked chestnuts roasting on an open fire, tipsy strangers nipping at your nose. Enjoy these holiday pleasures and more at this insidious event hosted by the Sorrento Hotel. As the P.R. machine so daintily puts it: “Available daily—all day.” Indeed. Through Dec. 24. 900 Madison St., 206-622-6400. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
GARDEN D’LIGHTS
The holiday season just doesn’t feel complete without hundreds of thousands of lights, and Bellevue Botanical Garden assures us that this year’s edition of “Garden d’Lights” will be nothing less than a “nationally recognized display of brilliance”—400,000 glowing orbs can’t be wrong. Free. Through Dec. 31. 12001 Main St., 425-451-3755. BELLEVUE
SHERATON SEATTLE GINGERBREAD VILLAGE
Gingerbread villages come and go, but the Sheraton’s annual display puts the rest to shame. A virtual architectural Expo of sweet cookie treats made to look like buildings, this much-celebrated event benefits the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (ironic, no?) and is organized by Sheraton pastry chef Wally Walberg, who wins the 2002 “Marky Mark” Name Alliteration Award. Donations accepted. Dec. 4-26. 1400 Sixth Ave., 206- 447-5547. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
VICTORIAN COUNTRY CHRISTMAS
The Victorian era was a time of unprecedented grace and, apparently, a queen named Victoria. Celebrate such vague historical awareness at the Puyallup Fairgrounds, possibly the least Victorian venue on the face of the earth. $7-$8.50. 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Dec. 4-8. Fifth Street and Ninth Avenue, 253-770-0777. PUYALLUP
CIVIC LIGHTS WINTER CELEBRATION
Sensory overload can be yours at this seventh annual event. Assorted decorations, seasonal music, art activities, story time, photos with Mr. Claus, and Kettle Korn will be available for kids and their parents/guardians for the low, low price of free. Bring nonperishable food donations and Santa might even listen to you this year. Free. 6:30-9 p.m. Dec. 5. Civic Center Campus, 19100 44th Ave. W., 425-771-4030. LYNNWOOD
THE LIGHTS OF CHRISTMAS
Any event featuring a character called Bruce the Talking Spruce has to be worthwhile. This magical happening includes everything from pony rides to live music and drama, with nearly 1 million Christmas lights (!) spanning five acres of festive holiday turf. Sponsored by Warm Beach Christian Camps. $6-$9. Dec. 5-30. 20800 Marine Drive, 1-800-228-6724. STANWOOD
CELTIC WINTER HOLIDAYS CONCERT
Bring in da noise, bring in da kilts at the Elliott Bay Pipe Band’s holiday concert, at which Seattle Police Department and Fire Department personnel and their kin receive “special discounts.” $10 ($7 for children/seniors). 7:30 p.m. Dec. 6. Eighth Ave. and Seneca St., 425- 670-1638. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
HANUKKAH COMMUNITY SHABBAT DINNER
Join the good people of Congregation Beth Shalom to celebrate the last of those eight crazy nights. $10 ($5 for children ages 4-12). 6 p.m. Dec. 6 (RSVP by Nov. 27). 6800 35th Ave. N.E., 206-524-0075. WEDGWOOD
A DEMENTED COOL YULE
If Kirkland and dementia figure into your December plans, look no further than this seasonal performance by legendary radio personality Dr. Demento. $10-$20. Dec. 6-7. 350 Kirkland Ave., 425-828-0422. KIRKLAND
KENT PARKS HOLIDAY BAZAAR
Your friends may think they want DVDs for Christmas, but here’s what they really want: mohair bears, bird houses, and quilts. Stroll through 18,000 square feet of handcrafted merchandise while bopping to the tunes of a steel drum duo and a bunch of carolers. Bring some nonperishables for the food bank, and your day of holiday goodness is complete. $1 (free for children under 12). 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Dec. 6-7. 525 Fourth Ave. N., 253-856-5050. KENT
SEATTLE SAMPLING ARTS & CRAFTS TOUR
More than 60 artists are participating in this show, which encompasses the entire city and promises to be heaven on earth for the arts ‘n’ crafts-inclined. Free. Dec. 6-8. Check www.seattlesampling.com for studio locations, or call 206-322-2049. VARIOUS NEIGHBORHOODS
HOLIDAY SHOW AT SEWARD PARK ART STUDIO
Smokin’ hot pottery fresh from the kiln can be yours at this show and sale. This co-op has been around for more than two decades, producing both “functional and sculptural pottery,” and includes more than 25 local ceramic artists—none of whom was involved in that dreadful scene from Ghost. $10. Dec. 6-24. 5900 Lake Washington Blvd. S., 206-722-6342. SEWARD PARK
PUMPKIN ICE CREAM SAMPLING
Pumpkin might be the most unexpected taste sensation ever invented. Think about it: We take an unsuspecting gourd, mash it into pie filling, and bake it in a golden crust. The more adventurous among us, of course, have radical new ideas about that old squash standby. If you’re into pumpkin ice cream, stop by Thriftway to participate in a pumpkin ice cream sampling. Free. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Dec. 7. Queen Anne Thriftway, 1908 Queen Anne Ave. N., 206-284-2530. QUEEN ANNE; Admiral Thriftway, 2320 42nd Ave. S.W., 206-937-0551. WEST SEATTLE
TOY SHOW OPENING AT MUSEO
The most mind-bending toy show in Seattle is back, offering “toys in various media” including, but certainly not limited to, “marble torsos by Alexei Kazantsev.” Like so many other children of suburbia, I ardently desired a bona fide Kazantsev marble torso of my very own. Alas, my crazy dreams of torsos were destined to go unfulfilled. Until now. Free. 6-9 p.m. Dec. 7. 215 First St., Langley, 360-221-7737. LANGLEY (WHIDBEY ISLAND)
HUTCH HOLIDAY GALA
Extravagant soir饳 are much less guilt- inducing when they’re for a good cause, and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center’s annual holiday gala is no exception. Fight cancer, indulge magnificently—everybody wins. $400. 5 p.m. Dec. 7. Sheraton Seattle Hotel and Towers, Pike St. and Sixth Ave., 206-667-6388. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
FAMILY DOG’S HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE
This questionable event is brought to you by the dog-friendly people at Family Dog Training Center and will feature a canine “good citizen” test (does Fido vote regularly?) as well as “an hour-long dog behavior problem solving workshop.” Free. Noon- 4 p.m. Dec. 7. 7034 S. 188th St., 425-291-9663. KENT
SANTA BREAKFAST
A holiday event sponsored by McDonalds and held in a food court? Come meet Santa and Dora the Explorer at the annual breakfast, brought to you by the nice folks at Tacoma Mall and Mickey D’s. Just don’t expect great things from the pancakes. $2. 9-10 a.m. Dec. 7. 4502 S. Steele St., 253-475-4566. TACOMA
COMMUNITY TREE LIGHTING/SANTA VISIT
Make a day of it in Port Townsend as you enjoy horse-and-carriage rides, watch St. Nicholas arrive by sea, and take in the breathtaking luminescence of the hallowed downtown tree-lighting ceremony. Free ($2/$1 for carriage rides). 1-7 p.m. (tree lighting at 5 p.m.) Dec. 7. Downtown, 360-385-1003. PORT TOWNSEND
VICTORIAN CHRISTMAS CAT SHOW
For five years, cat owners in the Seattle area have been subjecting their beloved feline companions to the ultimate humiliation: the Victorian Christmas Cat Show. The 2002 edition of this bizarre annual event will feature “International award-winning Cats and Household Pets” and promises to “ignite the Holiday Spirit for Cat lovers.” Oh, the humanity! $5/$3. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Dec. 7; 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 8. Seattle Center Northwest Rooms (next to KeyArena). For more information, e-mail: pixiebob@earthlink.net. SEATTLE CENTER
AN AMERICAN HOLIDAY CONCERT
The music of Leonard Bernstein, “the 50-voice Snohomish Children’s Choir,” and songs previously performed by the likes of Barbra Streisand and Peter, Paul, and Mary will make strange bedfellows indeed at this concert extravaganza (and readers of this calendar know that its writer uses the word “extravaganza” quite sparingly). $14 ($10 for students/seniors). 7:30 p.m. Dec. 7; 3 p.m. Dec. 8. 2710 Wetmore Ave., 425-257-8600. EVERETT
JAZZ NUTCRACKER
After winning this year’s Essentially Ellington Competition, the Roosevelt High School Jazz Band returns to give its third annual performance of Ellington’s Jazz Nutcracker at Benaroya Hall. $15 ($10 for students/seniors). 7:30 p.m. Dec. 7; 2 p.m. Dec. 8. Third Ave. and Union St., 206-292-ARTS. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
CELTIC CHRISTMAS
Celtic music and the holiday season are a perfect match. Catch some of that Gaelic yuletide spirit at this classy event, featuring Seattle Pro Musica conducted by Karen Thomas. $10-$21. 7:30 p.m. Dec. 8. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 206-781-2766. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
$14-$16. 3 p.m. Dec. 7-8. 15343 25th Ave. N.E., 206-528-9990. SHORELINE
CHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS IN SCANDINAVIA
Enjoy some serious yuletide revelry at the Nordic Heritage Museum’s event, which features activities from a simpler time. “Dancing around the Christmas tree” should be a riot. Free. 1-3:30 p.m. Dec. 8. 3014 N.W. 67th St., 206-789-5707. BALLARD
SNO-KING COMMUNITY CHORALE HOLIDAY CONCERT
If you crave a holiday celebration in the classical vein, look no further than this concert, featuring the only chorale in the state of Washington whose name sounds like that of a snow cone manufacturer. Gian-Carlo Menotti’s Amahl and the Night Visitors will be on the musical menu, as will Vivaldi’s “Gloria.” $7 (free for those under 18). 3:30 p.m. Dec. 8. 21801 44th Ave. W. MOUNTLAKE TERRACE
CINDERELLA’S TEA PARTY
Sipping tea with storybook characters is a memory that can last a lifetime. Make it yours at this party sponsored by Tacoma Little Theatre in association with its holiday production of Cinderella. Party favors will include pictures with the cast and assorted prizes. $10-$12. 4:30-6 p.m. Dec. 8. 210 North I St., 253-272-2281. TACOMA
MAGICAL STRINGS—A CELTIC YULETIDE
For those who have long been admirers of the Celtic tradition, this holiday celebration should be the cat’s meow, with nary a heartfelt rendition of “Danny Boy” in sight (or sound). $15, $10. 3 p.m. Dec. 8. 11100 N.E. 6th St., 425-637-1020. BELLEVUE
HOLIDAY ART AND GIFT SHOW
Yet another art show by yet another Cap Hill art gallery is certainly cause for celebration. After all, art makes a lovely gift, and what other gallery can offer you such treasures as “bejeweled bear ornaments” and “snazzy coasters?” Noon-5 p.m. Dec. 8-22. 1216 10th Ave., 206-323-0557. CAPITOL HILL
WREATH MAKING 101
Make your own unforgettable Christmas wreath in a step-by-step class that will teach you to craft the traditional circular door ornament. Bring some shears and any little knickknacks you wish to add; they’ll supply the essential wreath-making materials. $20. 6:30-9 p.m. Dec. 10. Minter’s Earlington Greenhouse, 13043 Renton Ave. N., 425-255-7744. RENTON
HOLIDAY WARMTH . . . SMOOTH JAZZ STYLE
If the words “smooth jazz” strike fear in your heart, avoid this concert. But if you just have to see “vocalist extraordinaire, Woody Woodhouse” (second prize, Name Alliteration Award), then make it your business to attend. $18 ($15 for students/seniors). 8 p.m. Dec. 20. 11100 N.E. Sixth St., Bellevue, 206-325-6500. BELLEVUE
