Robin Laananen
You can't handle the truth! The Liars.
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The penis bandit rides no more! The man known far and wide for attending local rock shows and rubbing his engorged naked bits against unsuspecting females was evidently nabbed at Sunday night's Sleater-Kinney Showbox gig, according to a Seattle Police Department report. The alleged culprit, 40-year-old Hyon S. Kim of Auburn, was charged with indecent exposure and assault. In a report detailing the incident, investigating officer J. Powers wrote, "When we arrived, I spoke with the security manager of the club, [David] Hughes, who told me that he observed Kim manipulating his hands in the front of his crotch for a short time and then subsequently exposing what Hughes believed to be Kim's penis, holding it in his hand. Hughes was very offended by Kim's penile display. Hughes said that he then observed Kim walk up behind a girl at the concert, later identified as V2 [a victim DOON won't name here; lord knows she's suffered enough], and press himself up against the backside of [victim] with what Hughes believed to be Kim's penis. Hughes said that he actually observed a little indentation in [victim's] dress where Kim had pressed himself." The report goes on for several paragraphs, the gist of it being that Kim got very rubby, made the girls cry, then subsequently copped to the whole thing, and "seemed very contrite during this whole process, hanging his head down while being on the verge of tears." Kim also volunteered the fact that he had just been jailed the previous day for the same offense. Here's hoping we never, ever see him, or his gnarly little trouser snake, again. . . . In the midst of all this crotch crime, Sleater-Kinney actually managed to put on a pair of great shows. A little less great was Sahara Hotnights' Saturday-night set at Graceland—even with points given for Swedishness, femaleness, and tight pants, we were still a little underwhelmed. Not so for the Liars, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and Jon Spencer Blues Explosion at the Showbox earlier in the week, though: The Liars were, by all accounts but our own tardy one, mind-blowing (who the hell decided to put them on at 9:15, when the ads said the show started at 10? But we digress . . . ). We stood with arms crossed, prepared to hate the YYY's just on principle, seeing as how they've been inordinately spooged on by any and all N.Y.C. music press, but dammit, they were really, really good. True, there are more rough sketches than full-fledged songs in their repertoire, but frontwoman Karen O.—some unholy combination of Exene Cervenka and Liza Minnelli in Converse high-tops—knocked our socks right off. And even as we planned to take off for mid-'90s holdover Jon Spencer, thinking, "That ship has sailed, gramps," we were drawn from the first song to stay. JSBX still, obviously, know the value of showmanship, and for that, we salute them. . . . Speaking of the Showbox, owner Jeff Steichen (along with Moto Productions' Gloria Connors) has gone ahead and purchased another venue, called the Northgate Music Theatre (401 N.E. Northgate Way), and it's all for the children. Upcoming all-ages events, which kick off with Latin rock diva Alejandra Guzman and the Burbanks on Oct. 5, will also include such kiddie favorites as GWAR (Oct. 25) and Dashboard Confessional (Oct. 28). Apparently, this whole month belongs to the too-young-to-drink, too-old-to-stay-home-for-Boy-Meets-World; the VERA Project will be celebrating the grand opening of their gorgeous, 6,400-square-foot new space downtown (1916 Fourth) with a blowout show Oct. 11 featuring the Catheters, Fitz of Depression, and Akimbo. . . . But maybe you don't give a shit about the children. Maybe you just want to know what's going on with M�y Cre frontman Vince Neil, MC Hammer, the Facts of Life's Mindy Cohn, and Webster's Emmanuel Lewis. Well, OK then, we'll tell you: They're all starring in the WB's The Surreal Life, a sort of Real World C-list celebrity graveyard in which four "stars" move into a house together for two weeks and have their lives taped—then we get to see what happens when they stop being polite and start getting real. Check your local listings. . . . Speaking of comebacks, Guns N' Roses are indeed coming to Seattle (or Tacoma, actually, at the Dome on Nov. 8). This will be G N' R's first full tour since 1993. . . . Still on the oldsters tip, according to NME, the first book to comprehensively cover all the Smiths' recordings will be released in the U.K. next month. Songs That Saved Your Life's author Simon Goddard was reportedly given unprecedented access to the band's studio archives and private collection of rehearsals, outtakes, and more, but you might have to send away for it if you really want it; no U.S. release date is pending. We personally are most intrigued by Morissey's crazy hero status amongst the Hispanic community, especially in and around Southern California. One for the anthropology books, that one. . . . Does anybody still wonder what happened to Liz Phair? Last year, she reportedly was working on a new album with producer Michael Penn (brother of Sean, husband of Aimee Mann, singer of one '80s hit, "No Myth") and weird houseguests Pete Yorn, Natalie Imbruglia, and Vitamin C. Much as we were disconcerted by those last few boldfaces, we are downright gobsmacked by her current studio-mates: According to Canadian Web zine Chartattack, she's hired the Matrix—the writing/ production trio responsible for supremely silly MTV minxette Avril Lavigne's "Sk8ter Boy" and "Complicated"—to punch up three tracks on her upcoming Capitol Records debut. Liz, what's up—Exile in Teenville? . . . Meanwhile, we hope all you Anglophiles get some sleep this week; with Clinic, Doves, and Gomez (they don't sound British, but they are) all hitting Seattle, we're guessing you poor things will be downright knackered by next Wednesday. Cheers, kiddos.
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