Untrendy Town— Readers' Picks

Best Bowling Alley

SUNSET BOWL

(1420 N.W. Market, 782-7310)

Sunset Bowl has tradition. It's a tradition that unites Ballardites and other Seattleites alike, a tradition that brings blacks and whites, Republicans and Democrats, manics and depressives together as one. It's a tradition that reminds us we're American: the tradition of tackiness. Thank god for it. You wanna do karaoke? Sunset has it. You wanna drink beer out of bottles shaped like bowling pins? You got it. You wanna get a little drunk with your friends, check out folks' asses while they scream at their gutter balls, and bob your head to the No. 1 hits of 1983? This is the place for you. On Wednesdays, with a wink and smile, you might be able to hop in the Bowling for Produce League. Get a spare, you'll take home a nice head of lettuce. Get a strike, and baby's eating steak tonight. Hot damn! S.P.R.

Second place: Leilani Lanes (10201 Greenwood N., 783-8010)

Best Mall

BELLEVUE SQUARE

(302 Bellevue Sq., Bellevue, 425-454-8096)

Those who think a mall's a mall (a few department stores, tons of freaky specialty outlets, and a food court) haven't been shopping mindfully. The best malls cater to our instinctive hunting-and-gathering needs with canny infrastructure, simulating the spiritual conditions of tribal life using lighting and rest room placement. Why shouldn't a visit to the Clinique counter be the climax of a vision quest? Bellevue Square is monstrously huge, with ramps and staircases and catwalks and elevators pointing every which way in a cacophony of navigational choice. Shopping really does seem beside the point here—just finding one's way and negotiating the complexities of urban social life are challenging enough for us mortals. R.L.

Second place: Alderwood, Pacific Place, Southcenter, and University Village were all so close as to be statistically indistinguishable.

Best News Anchorperson

JEAN ENERSEN

This is what I can tell you about Jean Enersen: If you find yourself bored and alone, sitting on the shores of Lake Washington in the cold, rooting for your friend's crew team which you can't see and don't even care about, feeling miserable, angst-filled, and constipated—Jean Enersen will sit down and talk to you. She's that kind of person. She'll talk with you for a few minutes about the rain and the UW, then she'll leave, and you'll notice you feel a little better all of a sudden. You'll feel better because Jean was sincere with you, like a good psychiatrist or a KING-5 angel. "I like Jean," you think to yourself, wet and constipated. "She's the best news anchorperson in Seattle." S.P.R.

Second place: Kathy Goertzen

Best Diner

BETH'S CAFE

(7311 Aurora, 782-5588)

A few of the many, many virtues of Beth's: Beth's is open ALL DAMN NIGHT. Beth's is decorated with crayon drawings executed by drunk patrons in the wee hours. Beth's is clean enough to inspire faith, dirty enough to inspire hope. Beth's staff is of the tattooed-with-hearts-of-gold sort. Beth's is not on Capitol Hill, not on Queen Anne—Beth's is on Aurora. Beth's has a game room for the youthful or bored (pinball: No Fear, Monopoly, The Who's Tommy; other: Centipede, Neo Geo, Maximum Force). Beth's breakfasts are exactly greasy enough, and Beth's breakfasts are all gigantic. Most gigantic of all, Beth's serves the famous and feared 12-egg omelette (and according to Amy at Beth's, it's the skinny ones who eat the whole thing). B.J.C.

Second place: The 5 Spot (1502 Queen Anne N., 285-7768)

Best Pool Hall

GARAGE

(1130 Broadway, 322-2296)

"But I'm not very good," we say, covering our ass in advance of our humiliation. We're always too drunk or not drunk enough or too distracted—more than golf, pool is the game of excuses. Garage offers us plenty of excuses, like surprisingly good (and surprisingly fancy) food; strong, expertly mixed drinks; and a gracious, lovely staff. It's as close to heaven as most of us will ever get; the sports-tuned televisions can be distracting, but they're blessedly silent, so they don't compete with the cacophony of tipsy hipsters and the musical m鬡nge of the week. And there's never a significant wait, the atmosphere is always fun, and we just might find that hustler with a heart of gold. R.L.

Second place: Belltown Billiards (90 Blanchard, 448-6779)

Best Place to Eat in Bellevue

DANIEL'S BROILER

(10500 N.E. Eighth, Bellevue, 425-462-4662)

Let's hear it for the chains! Not like leg irons, but like comforting, predictable, pricey, reliable, nonironic food and service. As usual, a number of you asked, "Who goes to Bellevue?"; may we remind you that there are a few very nice people who actually live there? (Or so we've been told.) Life is tough for you poor Eastside commuter types, and nothing takes your mind off your troubles like an ࠬa carte baked potato and slab of charcoal-grilled meat at a big expensive steak house. PF Chang's was runner up; apparently Chinese-food-as-concept is better than authentic—mu shu yumminess, honey fried chicken, and you can still have cheesecake for dessert! J.L.

Second place: PF Chang's China Bistro (Bellevue Square, 425-637-3582)

Best Place to Eat in Renton