The sexy, sexy pinup vixens of the Gun Street Girls have been aiming to please and shooting to kill with their postmodern rock ‘n’ roll burlesque show for round about three years now. You can sit a spell with BELLA BERETTA, Dagger Lee, Hangman Lola, Candy Whiplash, K.O. Malley, and Miss A. Sphyxia in their electronic parlor at www.thegunstreetgirls.com; you can also find out there where to see them next in all their voluptuous in-person glory. But be careful, kids: The Girls give new meaning to the old warning, “You’ll shoot your eye out.”

Best First Date Restaurant

Red Mill Burgers: If you still want to make out after watching each other devour sloppy burgers and eating smelly onions, you’re one step closer to true love.

Best Place to Propose

Planned Parenthood.

Best Place to Break Up

Graceland on Monday Funday: amazing bartenders, great staff, cheap booze—always something kick-ass going on. It makes crying over some stupid boy seem pretty ridiculous.

Best Place to Pick Up Someone Straight

The Comet: Where there is beer, there are boys. Buy him a Lucky and get lucky. The Twilight on Sundays provides quite a tantalizing buffet as well—it’s like the Krispy Kreme of the superfoxy: “I’ll take one of those, and one of those, and two of those.”

Best Place to Make Out

Next to the Denny overpass on Eastlake—nothing like walking back into a rock show at Graceland with no lipstick left and messed up hair.

Best Place to Have Car Sex

The parking lot behind Cafe Vita and Superstar Tattoo: It can be a little high traffic, but that’s what steaming up the windows is for.

Best Place to Buy a Mattress

Does anywhere let you test drive? You gotta see how well it handles corners!

Best Place to Buy Sex Toys

The produce aisle at QFC—D.I.Y.! Ay yi yi!

Best Place to Rent Porn

Rent porn? Hell, rent a camcorder and make your own!

Best Strip Club

Anywhere we’re performing. You may be a believer in seeing full beaver, but the Gun Street Girls are here to stay, the mutiny is on its way. Long live D.I.Y. T&A!