Sex In The City— Readers' Picks

Best First Date Restaurant

CARMELITA

(7314 Greenwood N., 706-7703)

Things to do at Carmelita to impress your date:

1. Know the difference between a remou-lade and a gremolade.

2. Correctly pronounce menu items such as tyrosalata, muhumara, caponata, and manchego. Bonus points for actually knowing what they mean.

3. Make reservations for the outdoor patio or the intimate backroom "salon," tucked away from the noisier, more family-friendly main dining room.

4. Admire the artistry behind decadent dishes such as the truffle pappardelle parcel and ricotta gnocchi with English pea ratatouille. Then dive in.

5. Statements to avoid: "I'd just about as soon have this as a big, juicy steak" and "Wow, you don't even miss the meat!" Some things should be thought, not spoken. E.C.B.

Second place: Serafina (2043 Eastlake E., 323-0807)

Best Place to Propose

THE SPACE NEEDLE

Something about being 500 feet in the air makes people want to propose. What is it? The view? The serenity of being away from the city? The food at the Sky City restaurant? Let's get real. The truth is, it's all psychological. There's something about the feeling of knowing you're 500 feet up and there's no escape. You proposed, your partner responded, in the affirmative or not, and now you're in this thing. The only escape is jumping out, which is suicide, or going down the elevator with the person to whom you've just proposed. You've committed to changing your life in one way or another. You needed the Space Needle to do so. Pussy. S.P.R.

Second place: Kerry Park (211 W. Highland, 684-4075)

Best Place to Break Up

OVER THE PHONE

They say that breaking up is hard to do, but they don't live in the Puget Sound Conflict Avoidance Zone like we do. Who among us hasn't used the phone to break up—by not answering, not calling, or just by saying "We need to talk" in that unmistakable tone of voice that renders the rest of the conversation moot? So it's embarrassing, so it's maybe a little immature, so what? It's convenient, there's no temptation to back down, and nobody has to pick up the check afterward. Better still, it won't ruin any perfectly good bars or restaurants for future romantic uses, as all the failure and shame lingers in the bedroom where it belongs. R.L.

Second place: "Over e-mail" (HA!)

Third place: "At home" (whose, though?)

Best Place to Pick Up Someone Straight

NEIGHBOURS

(1509 Broadway, 324-5358)

Hey, we never said exactly who it was that was picking up on someone straight. Neighbours has "gay bar" written all over it—club music, drag queens, Kylie Minogue CD-release parties—but it's increasingly Breedersville, U.S.A. This may be because straight guys have finally clued in to the amount of hot young women who accompany homo boys on a night out, or because Neighbours' popular, pansexual Rock Lobster nights are the real walk on the '80s wild side that people going to Polly Esther's can only dream of. Or is it that the ladies are actually showing up with het men in tow? When asked whom he thought the women were coming with, Thursday night hostess Vesta Buhle saw no mystery, deadpanning simply, "Their fingers." S.W.

Second place: Polly Esther's (332 Fifth N., 441-1970)

Best Place to Pick Up Someone Gay

NEIGHBOURS

(1509 Broadway, 324-5358)

Homo, het, whatever. How can a club that wins "Best Place to Pick Up Someone Straight" also take the crown for cruising gay folk? Well, Neighbours is still here, still queer, and everybody's used to it. Queer kidz know they can size each other up to Madonna's latest remix, and those crazy college boys can feel naughty and experimental, thus attracting droves of shameless, savvy homos who have a taste for crazy college boys feeling naughty and experimental. No one seems to care, since no one in his right mind would head here looking for long-term partner material. It's back to Rock Lobster hostess Vesta Buhle to set the record straight, as it were: "You can go there under the guise of heterosexuality, find yourself a cornholing faggot, and still be looked upon as heterosexual." S.W.

Second place: Broadway

Best Place to Pick Up a Dyke

WILDROSE

(1021 E. Pike, 324-9210)

The Wildrose: Seattle's one—and only—lesbian bar and a place where everybody is welcome. Grab lunch or a quick drink after work; stay for dinner; enjoy the late-night pick-up menu! There are specials: pool tournaments (gotta love a girl with good hand-eye coordination); karaoke (give voice to your desires); DJs and dancing (stretch and warm up); TV (talk about the game to break the ice); spoken-word events (who doesn't adore a woman with a brain?); movie nights (keep that pesky popcorn out of the sheets). Don't be shy; sooner or later, everyone comes by: regulars, maybe someone with Mom and Dad visiting, first-timers, mixed groups, gay guys. So when you're trying to pick someone up, be sure of whom you're talking to. J.G.

Second place: Broadway

Best Pick-Up Bar

BELLTOWN BILLIARDS

(90 Blanchard, 448-6779)

Maybe it's all that leaning over the pool tables that gets people feeling randy, or merely the fact that those who come to this First Avenue hot spot seem required to pass an unspoken "You Must Be This Hot to Enter" test at the door; either way, Belltown Billiards is the place where PYTs come to kick their game—and we don't really mean billiards. Not that everyone in the room actually looks like future Baywatch fodder; just that this ain't no dirty-Levis-and-a-hoodie pool hall, so do the best with what you've got or spend the whole night playing singles, sweetie. Salsa, DJs, and the occasional live music act provide further opportunities for booty-checking and opening gambits. L.G.