In answering a reader who wondered why women desecrate their bodies with tattoos and piercings in my column on June 6, I mentioned that some friends and I decided to get little pink flowers tattooed on the backs of our necks in honor of five of us ditching our (in)significant others within weeks of each other. No big deal, right? Wrong! Not since I dared to poke fun at elderly swingers have I received so much hate mail. Here’s a small dose of the vitriol.

Judy,

You answered that question by spewing out some anecdotal shit about what you guys did while drunk—as if you were the Hell’s Angels and decided to commemorate a brother’s stabbing death during a turf battle. We all have mental tattoos and life’s battle scars, but why would you permanently wear it for all to see? Time heals all wounds—except tattoos.

The writer couldn’t have been more correct: Tattoos and piercings are ugly on women. Maybe not so much on men, but I have yet to see a tattoo that enhanced someone’s femininity. Hell, I dumped a woman with a tasteful ankle tattoo—it’s just a gross-out to most straight guys. I wanna see naked, not a piece of art. That’s the beauty of lingerie; it comes off.

Body Art Sucks

Dearest B.A.S.,

I don’t believe for one minute that you are representative of most straight guys; you are, however, representative of most uptight, sexist straight guys.

Dategirl,

You have a bad attitude and I don’t find your answer to the guy asking about “Tattooed love girls” entertaining. It sounds like you and your lady friends don’t have sufficient insight into male thinking. You’re doomed to fail with men because you’re close-minded [sic] and must be too young to realize how much you don’t know. Until you get more mature, your broomstick will have to file flight plans at your local airport. Have you figured out your role in the Universe yet?

Curious

Hi Curious,

My “role in the Universe”? What does that have to do with my pretty new tattoo? Oops, gotta go—my broomstick just got cleared for takeoff.

Dategirl,

To all them Ya-Ya nerdy girls who’d been done wrong to and celebrated with a tattoo? The I-love-pain, bitch-victim explanation makes the most sense. You probably got what you deserved. Most real men have no trouble separating the women from the girls.

Aarrgh

Dear Aarrgh,

That’s “Ha ha,” not Ya-Ya. By getting tattooed, my blood sisters and I formed a Covenant of Pain. We wear the Mark of the Bitch proudly! You should see our secret handshake.

I did get one letter from a normal person:

Hey Dategirl,

I resent Baffled’s remarks about tattoos. I have two myself and find them beautiful. For me, tattooing is a form of expression and also a really fun way to shock people who think they know me. My tattoos are on my back, so not everyone knows I have them—they are more for my own benefit, really. As for the pain, it’s totally worth it and not nearly as bad as people make it out to be, wouldn’t you agree?

Opinionated

Dear Opinionated,

Thanks for the props, but I gotta confess, I found the pain excruciating. But then, I’m a big wuss.

Props? Problems? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western, Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.